That's My Girl

     I cannot get over how quickly time flies when you are a new mom!  Paul Matthew is going to be six months old on November 27th. I am amazed at how blessed our lives are.  Of course, there have been some challenges. When Paul was four days old we had to go into the hospital for jaundice. He was put in his own little tanning bed for 12 hours until all of the toxins were washed from his system. That was very scary but now he is doing great. He is a little tank and full of smiles and giggles for everyone. He lights up when daddy comes home, he has a special laugh for my mother-in-law; he truly cannot contain himself when he sees her. He just busts up into this adorable little belly laugh which brings tears to our eyes. Such joy emanates from this child. It would be wonderful if a bit of that joy were in every person in the World.  Our home is a very happy place. It always has been but since this little guy arrived, the laughs, smiles and giggles just keep coming.

     Bella was very put out at first and actually got herself into a bit of a bind. When Paul was about 3 weeks old, Bella was annoyed by his little noises infants make and decided to investigate a bit closer than I was happy with. The baby emitted a high pitched cry which set Bella off and she actually barked and growled about 4 inches from the little ones face. Needless to say, she ended up on her chain outside for a better part of the day. Over a month or so, she came around to love him as much as the rest of the family.  I think the initial sound hurt her ears and she was not sure if Paul was something to bite, chase or protect. She settled on protect which is a good thing for her sake.

     She was cautious getting too close to him because I won't allow it. I do not like when she tries to lick his face; but he giggles. The first time she did it, he let out a little cry and those big eyes were full of surprise. He was not sure what to make of this giant four legged creature but he has decided she is pretty cool. He enjoys touching her fur now. He sits on my lap and leans over to reach her if she is on the couch with us. He also tries to grab her tail if he is in his saucer when she is playing on the floor. It is very cute.

Bella's rules changed quite a bit since Paul got home and it took her some time to adapt but she is doing well. She is more calm in the house, does not run around in big circles in the living room unless he is sleeping in his crib for a nap upstairs and she does not get up on the couch near me anymore if he is with me. She sits on her blanket at the designated end of the couch. She seems okay with it. She has adopted the little one as another of her wards. She is as protective and caring with him as she is with Brie.

     Speaking of Brie, her and Paul are going to be quite the twosome! I can already see the wheels turning for Brianna.  She is so excited to have someone she can teach all sorts of things to. She reads to Paul and Bella pretty often. She tries to pick books that the baby will like. She goes for lots of color and big pictures with very few words. Bella enjoys it very much when Brianna reads to her. It is the most adorable thing to see a giant dog flopped out on the floor with her little girl sitting next to her rubbing her belly and reading her a story.

     What a life we have!!!  I cannot wait until Paul is toddling around after Bella and the rest of us.  Now Suzie is another story. She was trying to figure out what the baby was far longer than it took Bella to figure out. She chattered at him repeatedly in his first couple of months; like she was ready to pounce. She spent some time in her crate, needless to say. I think her thought process is changing since he has gotten much bigger and he can swat at her pretty accurately. She no longer sees him as prey but as a threat to avoid.  Once he starts booking around she will be hiding again, just like when Brianna was little. That cat came out to eat, drink and do her business. Other than that, she was hardly ever seen.  Sometimes I think people thought I was lying about even having a cat. That is how elusive she was when Brie was small. I think she is starting to see Paul in the same light.

     As for my other four legged child - she is doing great with the newest addition to our clan. Baby George and Lady Bella are going to be just fine regardless of how worried this old mama was at first. All is well and I think it will stay that way.

Bella has proven again that she is just a big loveable child herself and why I love her so much.

So Misunderstood

   OMGoodness! It was not a good start to the morning. Matthew was feeding the baby and planning to make Apples Washington for breakfast. I was going to head out to the Stop & Shop to pick up a few things.  When I was getting out of the shower, a very nervous husband carrying our infant came into the bathroom to tell me that there had been an accident with Bella and Brianna. The child was going to have quite a shiner. How do you think this mama bear reacted?  "That $%^&* dog! How did that happen? I told you I don't want her running around this house like a maniac and she only does it when you're home because you allow it. Now look what happened!"  Now mind you, I did not have all of the facts but assumed the dog was in the wrong instantly.

A little background if you are new to this page: Bella is a 100 pound three year old Great Dane "puppy". This dog is as hyper as anything you have ever seen when she gets excited and she only curbs it when Matthew is not home. Unfortunately, he does not buy into my idea that a 100 pound puppy needs to be in control around children at all times. He lets her be her natural dog self and I am always fearful something like this will happen. It is a major point of contention for us.

I finished getting ready and called Brie in to inspect her injury. Her eye is definitely going to be black and blue and her cheekbone looked pretty bad too. I called the emergency kids center in Rhode Island that we use. I was bound and determined to get her Xrays and prove to my husband, once and for all, the dog could not be "a dog" in the house!  Once I calmed down and got the whole story from the child and the teen who laughed when he witnessed this incident, I discovered the dog had not done anything wrong. I owed my husband an apology; well not a total apology because he did allow the dog to have her ball in the living room which I do not allow because of potential accidents. It was a simple issue of the dog and child playing on the floor when the dog dropped the ball and the child lunged for it. The dog lifted her head to get out of the way of the child and the child got hit in the face by the dog's retracting head.  Simple accident with a resulting shiner and bruised cheek.

It is difficult to blame the dog in this instance. Bella and Brie were being themselves. They were doing what a child and her dog do -- PLAY!!!  Bella was not being rough or aggressive, she was simply enjoying her time with her kid. The tragedy is that I am too nervous to allow Bella to be her natural puppy self in the house because of her size. It is not her fault she was not born a beagle.  During the week when Matthew is not home she is great, or I should say she knows she will be in trouble if she does not follow the rules set by me. Of course, she begs for food, she comes in the kitchen to inspect for scraps after meals and she is sometimes too pushy when people come to the door but overall she has adapted very well to an infant in the house and has taken to her new rules quite well. I feel bad for Bella sometimes because she was always my "baby" but I have to protect the human children before the happiness and carefree longings of the pooch are taken into consideration.

Today was a perfect example of how quickly things can go wrong with two parents having different guidance parameters.  This proves Matthew and I must get on the same page with Bella. She is one of our kids. We have to treat her like a dog but I also have to take into account she does have feelings and her size is not her fault. I also have to learn that even though the child should not have been on the floor grabbing the ball from the dog, it is natural for her to want to play with her dog. Why did we get a dog if she is not allowed to be a dog? I have to learn to be cautious but not overbearing and once in a while there will be instances where a bump or bruise in the course of play is going to happen whether it is between the kids or involves the dog. I am so afraid of one of my children being injured that I tend to suffocate them sometimes and overprotect them. This is not doing them or Bella any good. I have to find a happy medium somehow.

My mom and I had a similar conversation on another topic involving children and how innocent they are. You cannot shield them from the World and you cannot always be there. You teach and guide. Then you hope for the best. A parent is there to ease the pain of the shiner, clean the cuts and scrapes, apply pressure to a bleeding wound, and comfort to a broken heart. We are not supposed to stifle them from or punish them for being who they are. Just as you cannot make a dog not be a dog. Within reason I have to accept that my dog is a big, dopey, playful, and loveable pooch (with her family that is) who is longing for love and affection. Her kids make her happy and she wants to make them happy. She accomplishes this through play.

Eventually the on-call physician called me back and assured me Brie is fine. He told me as long as she can move her eye, is not falling asleep or is listless and her facial muscles move without pain, she will be fine. No need for an X-ray. When he asked me what happened with the dog, he kind of chuckled and commented on how big dogs can be a curse and a blessing. I felt much better after getting off of the phone.

Fast forward a few hours.  Brie is playing outside with her cousin Joshua and the worries of this morning are long forgotten. Again, we have a happy, innocent child with not a care in the World...as it should be. We also have a crazy-normal dog napping on the couch who will most likely do something in the future that will result in a bump, bruise or scratch on one of her kids while showing them how much she loves them. You also have a very thankful and blessed mama bear who needs to learn to relax a bit and not consider a monster or tragedy around every corner.

Since I became pregnant and now have a beautiful 10 week old little boy as a result, my dog has become a bit of a caution sign for me. I have to look at Bella the same way I looked at her before we had Paul and before Brie became her best friend; whom she longs to be a real dog for. All Bella is trying to do is show the kids how special they are to her. I have to keep in mind that she is also very special to them. Lately, I have been treating her more like a nuisance than a part of the family. She deserves to be cherished and respected too.  Just like the rest of us.

Baby Here We Come!!!

It has been far too long since I posted anything about poor Miss Bella. I am sorry to all of her readers. We are a few days out from Baby George coming into this world. It has been quite an interesting ride with Lady Bella.  In my first Trimester she was super bitchy! She started to become more aggressive, more belligerent and less apt to listen to me. I was getting concerned due to not only her size, but her attitude. She already does not like other animals and strangers so how would she react to a new baby in her house??  My husband, brother-in-law and mother-in-law assured me it was just a phase; so to speak. The explanation I received is that she could sense a change in my hormone levels and she was confused so that is how she reacted.

It has been a very difficult pregnancy so having the stress of the angry dog on top of it was not going to be a good thing. Fortunately, as time has past, she has relaxed and gotten back to her mischievous, loving self! Unfortunately for her and everyone else around me - I HAVE NOT!  Being pregnant at 26 versus 43 is a whole different ball game. For one thing, I only gained 13 pounds with my Sean and a whopping 40 Plus with this little guy.  "Total Gym and daily walking here I come as soon as I am cleared for take off!"  I feel sorry for people who have chronic back pain because this is just horrendous! I don't know how people function.

I was going to a chiropractor for a few weeks but then it was too uncomfortable on the table and the baby doesn't like it. He starts kicking up a storm and it is too painful so I have been icing at home. Problem is Bella likes the ice packs and steals them from me. If I leave them on the counter for a second, I turn around and "POOF" where did it go??  I cannot exactly chase the dog so I wait until she is done tossing it around and licking it - luckily she hasn't popped one yet. I have the Gel kind so they are still useable when I get them away from her. Usually by the time I do, it has to go back into the refrigerator to get nice and cold again. It is my own fault because she loves ice cubes as a treat. Since these are as cold as an ice cube she thinks they are hers to take.

I have to give this dog a lot of credit because I have been as bitchy in my second and third trimesters as she was in my first trimester. Lord help everyone!  I had morning sickness almost from the pregnancy confirmation with the little white stick and right up until about 34 weeks. Thank goodness for Ondansetron! This helps to get rid of the nausea and morning sickness whether it is severe or mild. Mine was very severe and lasting all day. This was not available 17 years ago but that is how far medical science has come. Bella would lay outside the bathroom and whine for me to come out. She knew something was wrong but not sure how to react. What a good girl. But do you think I praised her at those times. NO! My reaction was "I cannot deal with a clingy damn dog right now!" LEAVE ME ALONE!!!  Poor baby. She has been by my side since she was a pup and now she has started to pull away a bit because I have not wanted her on top of me all day long. She has her own spot on the couch now and only comes to lay with me if I let her. I guess it is a good thing, but sometimes I feel like I have not been fair to her.

One thing I realized with this baby coming is my relationship with Bella is changing. She was my baby and now she is going to be a different priority level for a bit of time until we get acclimated to a newborn in the house. I also think about the other children. Sean is 17 so he understands that newborns and babies take up all of your time, but Brianna is only 7 and I want to make sure she does not feel left out or neglected; as Bella does sometimes.  My husband started telling Bella "Mommy doesn't love you anymore." This breaks my heart because I do love her but I need her to be better behaved with a baby around. In the first trimester, I was worried she could hurt the baby and be aggressive but that is not my fear anymore. I am afraid now, if she is too excited and trying to get to me, she could knock him over, step on him, nudge him too hard, etc. That is why I need to stay on her for following instructions. My husband just feels I'm being too hard on her.

I am torn: Do I let Bella be "Crazy Bella" or do I listen to my gut instinct as a mom and make sure she tows the line and understands her place? It is just like reteaching a belligerent or out of control child that there are consequences to their actions. I don't know what else to do.  I guess the best way to deal with it is to be consistent in my reactions to her behavior and consistent in her consequences to set a precedent of what is expected of my big girl.

I suppose I need some advice from moms of dogs and babies. How do I keep the balance of showing my dog she is number one still but she is not more important than the little one. How do I make sure our relationship is not changed forever and she feels like I don't love her anymore?  This is very important to me because I don't want her to resent the baby and do hope for him to have as special a relationship with his Big Blue Dane as the other kids do. She is a very integral special part of the family but does not always agree with following rules.

The Cat - now that is a whole other problem. I have told my husband she is not allowed in the Nursery whatsoever. We have put the Bassinet in our bedroom, and of course, the little guy will be in there for quite some time before being switched to his crib. Suzie, the Cat has decided sleeping in the Bassinet is her new spot. I THINK NOT!!  My plan is to ban the cat from the bedroom altogether when the baby is in his Bassinet. 1 -2 hour feedings will be the routine for the first couple weeks, I am sure and I don't want the cat anywhere near the baby.  Again, my husband thinks I am being cruel to the animal. How do I explain that this is an incredibly important aspect of keeping the little one safe. I am not saying my cat is mean. I am not saying my cat would intentionally smother the baby; but it has happened often enough where it is of major concern and my thoughts are: "Why not just be proactive and avoid the potential for disaster?" So again, to moms of kids and cats: How do I convince my husband I do not hate my cat but want to protect the baby??

I love my animals as anyone who reads this blog knows. Maybe I worry too much but how can I not? Advice and feedback would be so welcome right now. Monday morning, we are going to be induced so I would say by Wednesday we will be home starting life with a new little guy named Paul Matthew George! I want everyone to get along, I want as little stress as possible and I want my animals to adjust to the changes coming as much as the rest of the family.  Stay tuned...