Bella Knows Best - I Think???!!!

I recently completed my Associate's Program from home through the University of Phoenix, Axia program.  Bella is a major contributor to my success.  Not only did Bella help me remember to put my research material away but she also reminded me over and over again, when it is time to study is not during the afternoon when she wishes to play.  You see, this is very important going forward in all future endeavors for me because I have determined I will be a better writer than business manager.  Mind you, I get plenty of practice at home refereeing a 15 year old and 5 year old day in and day out.  I am always multitasking and giving redirection to these two children who are polar opposites in every way possible.  I swear if Sean is going to say something nice, Brianna is going to report it as he was being rude to her.  I have had to figure out how to be diplomatic in delegating punishment.  I was unaware at how well happy little five year old children develop a knack for lying in order to show their power over a teenager who they consider a nuisance.

This brings me to why I feel it is best I have Bella here 24/7 even though she gives me grey hair more rapidly than I think it would develop naturally.  I really cannot prove my theory since I get my hair colored without fail every five weeks.  I have to or I look like Broom Hilda after more than six weeks, and manage to scare the children and the hubby too.  Bella is always sniffing around my work area.  More than once I have left papers out that I highlighted important information on only to come home or back in the room in some instances, to find nothing but shredded slips of the words I was working on adding to my memory folder.  She has also decided that pens are a tasty treat beside her BBQ flavored dog bones.  In the past two weeks, I have found the carcass of many a blue and black gel pen around the house.  Luckily, I have not seen any evidence of splattered ink on the living room carpet.  I believe she is smart enough to bite down on it once she is in the kitchen where for the most part, it is impossible to see a stain.  I love industrial looking concrete flooring.  It is so manageable.  Okay, back to Bella sorry.  I am not worried she is eating the pens; which is a good thing.  We are making progress.  We have found something she merely chews up and spits out; something she would like to do to poor Suzie.

You are all probably wondering what the correlation is between a five year old who is learning that fibbing is a good way to avoid a timeout or losing video game and TV privileges, and a dog who cannot speak and should be nicknamed DEMON.  Well, it is a good thing the dog can be vocal in other ways or the five year old was going to scam one over on me today, and the 15 year old would have been in hot water without doing anything; this time.  I keep finding empty pop tart wrappers all over the living room lately.  There is no eating allowed in the living room by the kids.  I had enough with empty fruit snack and go-gurt sleeves to last a lifetime.  We put our feet down when we moved in the new house a couple years back that there was to be no eating in the living room.

I decided to gather the evidence and confront who I thought was the culprit.  I was reprimanding Sean for lying about leaving the pop tart papers around and for eating in the living room.  He was adamant it was not him.  I did not believe a word he said, because like Judge Judy preaches "When a teenager opens their mouth, it is a lie!".  Those words resonate in my skull every time I confront Sean about something I know he is guilty of. This time I was dead wrong.  While I am getting more aggravated by the moment and determining in my head how long he is going to lose privileges this time, Brianna suddenly says "Mom, I have to go get something upstairs." and races out of the room with Bella on her heels.

About two minutes later I give up berating Sean and tell him to go finish his chores. We will discuss this later if it happens again with his father.  All of a sudden, here comes Bella running full throttle down the stairs, into the living room and drops a mouthful of empty fruit snack wrappers, candy wrappers, a half eaten pop tart and an empty D'animal's container at my feet.  This dog has a big mouth and really proved the carrying capacity with this haul. 

Sean is just walking out of the room and sees this and yells "I told you it wasn't me!"  I was totally dumbstruck.  Brianna is now on her little knees trying to push the evidence under her hands so I won't see the inventory.  Bella lays down and starts licking her hands and trying to nudge Brie's hands away with her head in protest of trying to hide the contraband.  Sean starts laughing and says "FINALLY!"  I did not know what to say.  Had Brianna not been so frazzled trying to hide the content of that mouthful, I would have naively believed Bella had gone into Sean's room and brought me more evidence to build an even tighter case of misconduct by the teenager.

The dog was trying to do the right thing.  She was making Brianna face the music by bringing her fibbing into the light.  Not only had she been hiding wrappers in the living room; so apparently sneaking snacks, but also bringing food upstairs!  That is a major NO NO in this house. Bella was doing a good deed by keeping a watchful eye on events as they must have occurred and when the little culprit tried to get rid of the evidence while the big one got blamed, Bella stopped her in this felonious act.  When confronted, Brianna tried blaming Sean and Bella.  She stated that Sean took the treats at bed time for a few nights but she was trying to be a good sister and not be a tattle-tale.  She didn't want him to get in trouble.  Her story is Bella was actually stealing the treats from Sean's room and putting them in her room so she'd get caught instead of Sean.  The dog was trying to make her get in trouble.  She said "It's not fair you believe the dog instead of me!"  LOL

The moral of this debacle is trifold:  I have learned five year old children do actually lie, teenagers do tell the truth sometimes, and crazy dogs are really really good to have around.  She may chew up my school work, and now freelance writing research once in a while (3 -4 times per week if I'm not careful) but she makes a really good mediator and fact-finder in this house.  I think her asset quality ratio far outweighs her liability status one hundred times over.  Not only does she make sure I keep my paperwork in good order but the children as well.

I am going to be looking at installing child proof locks on the cabinets in the kitchen.  The only problem is I think the five year old will be able to remove them and I won't.

WE WANT OUR BED BACK!

 

     It is bad enough trying to figure out what to get the kids for Christmas ensuring that their most important items end up under the tree.  It is even more difficult determining what to buy for a dog who chews up every bed she has had, destroys plush critters in a matter of minutes and excretes far too much saliva to have a good game of fetch with rubber balls unless you wear gloves to keep a good grip.  The only thing that seems to work for this dog is a tennis ball.  This may last a few weeks before she tears the fuzz off and tries to eat the rubber underneath.  I've given up on most tug toys because Bella works at the knot until she is able to shred the twine or cotton and then proceeds to eat it.
     I am a total sucker when it comes to this dog and it is pretty certain I'm going to try her with a new bed for Christmas.  We bought her the Kong bed which we were told was virtually indestructible by PetSmart...not so much.  I was still working at M&M when we got that one, and from my two minute morning commute to coming home for lunch about 4 1/2 hours later, there was only a bit of stuffing left that was not strewn about the house and the rubber bottom half looked like a school of piranha had fed on it.  We determined then, letting Bella sleep on the couch or in bed with us would be the best way to save money.  Her Kong bed ran us about $85.00 and lasted less than 24 hours.  I'd have been better off to take that money and buy Sean and Brie video games they do not need.  It would have actually been more practical. 
     Being such a push-over Mom that I am, I started researching better options for Bella in the bed category.  Short of purchasing her a twin size bed like Brianna's or a Tempur-Pedic of her own that may be comfy like ours so she won't decide to chew it all to hell, I found this really cool dog-house; tent-like contraption that I think may actually please the Queen of Danes.  I haven't been to a Sam's Club in quite a few years but I'm pretty sure ordering it online this time of year would probably be smarter anyway; what with all of the holiday shoppers.  The Cool Cot Dog House has gotten great reviews and I really think Bella may like it.  If I can talk the hubby into us putting out another C-note on this dog for inconsequential items it may keep her out of our bed.  That would actually be my selling point.  Poor Matthew...Bella does not sleep downstairs unless Mommy sleeps on the couch.  I do sleep on the couch a lot when Matthew is on the road.  I stay up pretty late and don't want to wake the kids going upstairs in the middle of the night.  Bella is a big clumsy dope when she runs up the stairs so sometimes she'll wake the kids and Brie is crabby enough in the morning without having her restful night interrupted too early by a dog.
     When Matthew is home, Bella refuses to sleep downstairs by herself.  She HAS TO sleep upstairs in bed with us or she will bark and whine until we let her come up. Spoiled does not begin to describe my dog.  Matthew has worked his way into bed with us without being attacked anymore.  Now she doesn't actually try biting him but lays right in the middle of us, on her own pillow to keep us separated.  If we move towards each other; whoever the offender is gets a big paw across the kisser.  She is very specific in keeping us on opposite sides of the bed.  This Cool Cot Dog House may just be what we need to keep her out of our room.
     It is supposed to be for outside use but I'm thinking about being creative.  We could set it up in the living room and let her have full run of the downstairs but get her used to nap time in her house instead of on the couch.  The trick is getting Matthew onboard with my idea.
     If any of you have had problems with a spoiled rotten dog who refuses to sleep on the floor or not in your bed, send me some feedback.  I'm willing to try just about anything to get her out of this habit.  I love her to pieces but she's taller than me so she's always kicking me or scratching my feet in her sleep, snores, hits me in my sleep causing me to wake up with bruises I didn't have when I went to bed, kicks me off the bed sometimes and adding insult to injury, drools on MY PILLOW - not her own.  This Cool Cot Dog House seems like a great solution.  It would actually be for me not the dog! 
I love my dog like one of my kids but I don't need her in my bed anymore!  It was cute when she was a puppy letting her sleep on the bed but now she's a hundred pounds and thinks she is the size of a poodle.  We will have to figure something out before she reaches full size or Matthew and I will have to take turns sleeping on the couch.  That is another thing.  If we don't go to bed at the same time, she goes to bed with whoever heads upstairs first...to reserve her spot.

She's At It Again

I'm not sure where Bella learned to box but she is quite the adversary when she wants to be.  This dog just doesn't understand the concept of letting me sit on the couch by myself.  It is fine in the evening while watching TV or reading a book for this 90 pound baby to sit in my lap.  When I am trying to crochet or drink a much needed cup of coffee after a long day with the kids and this four legged monster, I want to chill.  I want to be allowed to sit back, take a few leisurely sips and watch Criminal Minds, Days of Our Lives, Sons of Anarchy or maybe even Jeopardy without a tail wapping me in the face, paws digging into my thigh, or a rock hard skull smashing me in the jaw.  When I get to a point of making her remove her bulk from my person is when she decides to turn into Mike Tyson.  She starts with only one paw but is pretty good at switching it up when you least expect it.  I have been hit in the face before I can even get my hands up by a left, right and another left paw rendering me a not so savvy opponent.  At this point, the dog usually turns on a little swagger like "In your face bitch" and climbs over me shoving me with her back paws back into my corner of the couch so she can proceed to nap.  Within two minutes of these one way battles, she is normally snoozing across my lap and my coffee has turned cold since I am not able to drink it with her big head in the way.  My husband wonders why I go through so much coffee!

Bella needs to be touching me at all times, she missed that memo too; The Importance of Personal Space.  If I am at the island in our kitchen, her paw needs to be in my lap, her head needs to be resting on my arm, or she is standing with both feet on the island licking my face.  That third option is normally self-serving.  She is trying to take a bite of whatever I'm eating. 

If I ignore these gestures of doggie affection, the gloves are off!  Here come those giant paws!  "POW!! Right in the face!  This morning I got up pretty early and got Brie off to school.  I was sitting on the couch folding towels and organizing my days work because Debbie, my mother-in-law was coming over for dinner later this evening.  Needless to say, Bella wanted the face cloths to run around with.  I let her take one and went back to folding.  I had three piles neatly folded and ready to go back in the basket to head upstairs to their pertinent closet destinations.  Bella decides she wants to sit in the basket.  Picture a 90 pound Great Dane trying to fit in a 2x4 foot basket.  Granted it is a pretty good sized basket and holds 2 to 3 batches of folded towels, but she is just not the right fit.  As I am putting towels in and shooing her out, she decides to grab the basket in her teeth and take off with it.  "OH HERE WE GO!"  She only goes about three steps and slams the basket into the wall. 

Apparently her depth perception is not that good.  The basket was not going through the doorway into the kitchen which really set her off.  As I'm trying to grab the basket she is tugging on one side and me on the other.  Growling, snarling, and using her paw to assist in battling me she decides to suddenly let go.  Here I go sprawling backwards and on my butt again.  This dog loves to injure me I swear!  She leaps over the basket which I now use as a shield only to get slammed in the chest with  the dog on top of the basket.  Squished basket and squished me! Lovely!!!  Now to add insult to injury she decides to smack me in the head with a giant paw.  Ouch!!!

OK. Now I'm beyond aggravated with the Queen of Sheba!  I get off the floor, adjust my glasses which are now sideways on my face and proceed to yell at her to get out of the living room.  I will skip the explitives because being under two years old, I never should use that language in front of her.  "BAD MOMMY" is all I was thinking.  I put all the towels back in the basket and lean over to pick it up to lug it upstairs and "SMACK" from out of nowhere I get a big paw right across my right cheek.  Bella is next to me up on the couch now talking up a storm.  She is indignant and insulted that I took the basket away from her.  This dog thinks she has rights like a human. 

I picked up the basket and she puts her head right in my face!  We are now almost eye level (she is taller) and I'm pissed! I told her to knock it off, I have a lot to do and she needs to leave me be to get things done today.  I told her I wasn't kidding and she was going to end up on the chain outside for the day.  Normally the word "chain" makes her pretty pliant but not today.  She woofs in my face and throws herself back on the couch so both feet are ready for battle.  This dog looked so funny at that point that I let my guard down and laughed at her.  BIG MISTAKE!  Bella sends one big paw smashing into my face knocking me back a bit and the intended affect worked.  I wasn't laughing anymore.  I slapped her foot and with the other one she sent my glasses flying right off my face.

Now this wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have extremely poor eyesight.  I couldn't even see the damn dog anymore; she was just a big gray blur.  Trying to find my glasses without crushing them was a challenge but after about 2 minutes I got them back on my face.  My screaming and yelling, threatening her with a drive to the dogpound worked because when I got my glasses back on, she had curled up in my assigned corner of the couch.  She knew she was in trouble and I am happy to report that for the rest of the day we had no further incident.

I'm just hoping when Debbie got here Bella wouldn't decide to start Round II.  Our visit went off without a hitch.  She jumped on Memere a few times but very gently since she stands about a foot taller, this was very very important.  She actually behaved herself the whole time.  The only problem is, Bella decided to come visit us tonight in the dining room which she has been very careful not to enter since she almost broke my candelabras in the window chasing the cat a few months ago.  She got into enough hot water then to be very leery of entering that forbidden zone.  Unfortunately for Suzie; "She's Back".  Now the poor Cat will have to find a new place to lounge.  I think I learned my lesson too - I shouldn't have wasted money on new glasses.  The smartest thing to do with this dog is keep my contacts in at all times.

Come back soon to see how Bella is treating her family.  Thanks for checking in and sharing.

Bella vs. Veterinarian

I apologize to Bella's friends for not posting an update sooner.  About a month ago Bella had to go to the Vet for being rather laxadazical and not really acting like herself.  She refused to eat her food; which turned out to be Primadonna Syndrome.  She chose to go on a hunger strike because after sampling some table food she wanted more variety in her diet.  She happily started eating a mixture of canned meat chunks and her dry food after some trial and error on our part.  Once again all is right in the world because Bella is pleased.  Queen Bella I should say.  It turned out to be a coincidence but luckily we did bring her to the Vet because she had a tick infection.

When we went to the Vet for her hunger strike, the vet did some bloodwork which Bella was not pleased about.  I have been informed not only by Petco, but now by my Veterinarian who deals with mischievous giants on a regular basis, that it is better if my husband accompanies us for her recheck because she doesn't have "much faith, frankly in your ability to hold her back if she wants to pounce on me".  Apparently Bella baring her teeth and trying to snap the Vets hand off was not a welcome response while drawing her blood.  Tempermental is putting it mildly.  Now I've heard of cats that hold a grudge but dogs?? They are supposed to love you no matter what:  Forgive and forget; you know "Man's Best Friend".   She is not best friends with the Vet.   The Vet took the blood samples and proceeded to bring them to their onsite lab to find out if there was anything going on with the big baby.  The Queen of Sheba was licking her wounds the entire time the Vet was gone and mumbling under her doggie breathe.  To say she was pissed is an understatement.  I rubbed her back and tried to comfort her and I got a big ole growl that told me "it is not a good time to be playing mommy of the year".  She was not going to be consoled by me or anyone else at that moment in time.  She was mad about the needles and someone was going to be dealing with her; like it or not.

I know the look on my dog's face when she is ready to go after something, whether it is a squirrel, dear, or wild turkey in the yard; occasionally a UPS driver.  Nonetheless I was not really prepared for her next move even though I saw the look.  I guess it didn't register because she doesn't normally look at people that way.   The Vet comes back in and before I could even get off my butt out of the chair she was snapping the leash out of my hand and chasing the Vet back out the door.  I have to say for a larger woman, she moved pretty damn quick.  I gave chase and was freaking out inside thinking, "OMG I'm going to have to put her down if she bites the damn Vet"!!  Luckily, the desk is right outside the doors so she made it behind the desk and shut the little swing door as Bella was lunging for her.  When Bella let go of the leash I grabbed at it and got her under control.  I dragged her back into the exam room and had to literally sit on her to calm her down.  She was howling like a wolf because she didn't get ahold of the Vet.  It took about 10 minutes to get her to a point of being able to bring her out to the desk and luckily the Vet had left my medication for her on the counter with a $240.00 bill.  I personally think she tacked on a fee for her aggravation and near death experience.  I was informed that Bella was going to have to be muzzled when she comes in for shots or bloodwork.  I said very sheepishly, "I understand".  I was embarrassed and felt bad but before I could say anything, the girl at the desk laughed and said, "Don't think she's the only one that tries to bite her.  She must not be very gentle with the needle."  I didn't feel so bad after that.  It was self defense on my girl's part!!!   

Here I am talking to the girl at the counter while she runs my credit card and I look down and my dog has her teeth on the handle of the carrier of the woman next to me who is not paying attention and my dog is trying to get inside at the poor Cat in Box!!!  I quickly grabbed her collar and dislodged her teeth.  As I did so, the woman looks down and this blood curdling screech comes from inside the carrier!! OH DAMN HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! Bella is now aware its a cat.  I had to mobilize the dog again by wrestling her to the ground and holding on for dear life.  Now the woman could have helped in this situation by moving the carrier to the other side of her legs but NO!!! She leans down, Bella doesn't seem to phase her in the least and tries quieting the kitty who is now putting her big claws out through the hole, hissing and growling like a bobcat!  The girl behind the counter cannot even hear to answer the phone between Bella and the crazy kitty in the box.  I decided to be the adult in the situation since my dog was the culprit, afterall and I offered to take her home and come back for my credit card in a few minutes.  This made the girl behind the counter quite happy.  So that is what I did.

When I returned to the Vet after dropping off KUJO, it turns out she had a bacterial infection caused by the saliva from a tic??!!???!  Don't ask me...I don't understand how they can determine saliva from a tic, being so small but science is amazing.  They even have a name for it...Anaplasmosis.  She had to take 3 horsepills twice per day for nearly 4 weeks and let me tell you, it took about one week to figure out how to hide those things in her "treats".  We finally settled on string cheese.  I took a piece of string cheese and cut it into 3 sections.  I hollowed out the center and stuffed the pills in.  Pretty ingenious of me; just saying.  ...but it worked great. 

Bella is now ready to go back for her "recheck".. I have a feeling there is going to be another blog entry after that visit.  NOW, I understand they want her muzzled like when she gets her nails done but the million dollar question is...WHO IS MUZZLING THIS DOG??? I can answer that in two words:

NOT ME :(

She got home and laid around for the rest of the night.  I checked on her before going to bed and this pic is what I found...Too precious.  One minute she wants to tear someone's throat out and the next she's cuddling with her kitten.  Maybe my dog is BiPolar.  One can never tell.. She's just crazy like her mom.  And I wouldn't want to change a thing about her... I LOVE MY BELLA

Sometimes a Lesson Learned is Self Taught

     It has been a little while since we have posted a blog entry for Bella.  Reason being up until about a week ago she’s actually been a pretty good dog.  Short term miracles are a blessing with her.  As expected, short lived is the important phrase here.  She is back to her terrible self again.  I guess she tired of the concept of leaving Brianna’s toys alone but that is another entry. She has also tired of the concept that Suzie has a right to have her tail dry and fluffy; not wet and yucked up from Bella nipping and chomping on it at will.  Suzie does not appreciate being stepped on and squished to the floor simply because Bella decides this is a fun way to surprise the Cat while she is sleeping in front of the slider.  Since Brie has gotten comfortable with being able to leave a baby doll or stuffed animal around Bella had learned those things were off limits.  The Cat is supposed to be off limits too.  She has also learned that even though she wants to roam free she has to be on a leash or chained up when she goes outside.  Giving this dog chances is like walking down the street naked and expecting not to get arrested. ..You just don’t do it!

     The monster dog decided to go for a little stroll over to my neighbor’s house the other day and wouldn’t come back.  When I finally chased her down in his back yard, she kept looking over her shoulder at me and galloping a few more feet away, turning around putting her head to the ground, butt in the air and barking at me like a rabid beast; important to note the tail has been profusely wagging throughout this little neighborhood jaunt.  Apparently she thinks it is a game to have mommy chase her around the area in 90+ degrees of horrid heat and humidity, sweating my butt off and not exactly enjoying the trip to the grouchy neighbors.  I finally gave up the chase, told her under no uncertain circumstances that if she didn’t find her way back to her own house, the truck would be waiting to bring her spoiled butt to the pound once and for all and I would deal with Daddy’s wrath when he got home.  I lived through crashing his truck so dropping the dog off might be a little worse but at this point, figured I could take it. 

     Now, everyone knows this dog is my ‘kid’ and I would never drop one of my kids off at the “pound” so it was definitely an idol threat but I was at the end of my rope with Bella the Brat!!!  I turned my back on her, began the trek back to our driveway and marched up the hill to the homestead.  I must have been muttering quite loudly or she knew when mommy turned tail and headed off in a huff the hound dog was in serious doo doo.   Like a supersonic boom, all I felt was a blast of hot air as the crazy dog passed me at about Mach10!!  Like a shot she headed up the hill and parked her butt on the front porch for me to get up that damn hill!!!  As I got to her, she leaped nearly over my head;  I had to duck, and around the back of the house.  She thought the game was still in progress apparently.  I was so aggravated at this point I simply went in the house, took her water dish, filled it with fresh water and ice cubes and stuck it on the front steps.  I went back in the nice cool and cozy house and went about my daily routine. 

     It could have backfired but this dog is not an outdoorsy type; just like her momma.  I knew in the heat, racing laps around the house to annoy me, running up to the deck barking and jumping on the door just to take off again, as I open the door would wear her out sooner or later….sure enough not 10 minutes later, I hear whining and woofing at the front door.   I walked to the door and opened it up for her to come in.  She came in and flopped herself right there in the living room next to the vent for the air conditioning.  I think she stayed there for over an hour.  I ignored her, Brianna brought her some ice cubes that she gobbled up and baby Bella went to sleep. 

     Sometimes, letting kids learn their own lesson is the best way to teach them right from wrong.  Moral of the story:  If you are a lap dog and live comfortably in central air for 99% of your day, it is not too bright to take off on your mom in scalding heat because she may not let you back in the house until she’s ready!!!  Then again, this morning I got up and apparently Bella decided to get back at me.  Her leash was chewed to shreds sitting next to the front door with one of Brianna’s stuffed animals missing its head with stuffing all over the place!  I disposed of the evidence before Brianna saw the crime scene.  All I could do was sigh, and say those famous last words “DAMN DOG”… and our day begins  J

If you have a crazy dog like mine, drop me a note and tell us about them.  Loveable monsters are the best creatures in my book.  Thanks for reading.  Check back soon, I’m sure Bella will have created more chaos.  It is her MO

          

ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE HEATWAVE!!!

     Welcome to SUMMER!! Nothing like slamming you in the kisser right off the bat.  The past two days have been absolutely treacherous for kids and geriatric patients...Not so fun for animals either.  Bella is irritable and moody again.  I thought the first Heat for her was a miserable experience.  This mini heatwave is making her a monster!  She goes outside and is instantly panting and whining to come in.  This dog never stays out for more than 10 minutes anyway and getting her to step off the porch to pee right now is a chore. 

     She has taken over the living room.  First of all, there is plenty of room on the couch for 10 people if you squeeze in nice and snug.  On a normal day, Brianna, Sean, Bella, Matthew and Myself fit just fine; oops forgot the cat perched on the back of the couch atop my head.  OK - fast forward to the past two days.  Bella has decided she is not going to share the couch with anyone.  Reason being obvious to the average observer.   The ceiling fans are centered one above the couch and the other in the middle of the living in front of the couch creating a very nice flow of cool air which Bella has decided belongs to her.  Mind you, the dog is always allowed on the furniture; she would have it no other way.  She also sleeps with me in my bed...that is until yesterday morning.  Our ceiling fan is above our bed as well.  The nasty, moody overheated dog has made herself at home in all of the perfect cooling spots in the house. 

     When it came time to get up and go outside to do her business yesterday, she let us know in no uncertain terms that she didn't want to wake up.  I had my son try and usher her off the bed since I was having no luck.  He was ready to leave for Summer Session at school, and is not always happy about having to assist me with the 110 lb dog who thinks he is a lifesize chewtoy at times.  I was being patient with the two of them and I finally said, "Grab her collar and make her follow you!"  Bella chose to ignore this order and proceeded in growling at the two of us, standing up on the bed, turning herself around, quite deliberately adding insult to injury by whacking me with her tail as she did so and flopped back down on the bed thinking she'd won the battle.  "Well guess what honey!  You are not the Queen Bitch in this house!!  Now it is WAR!"  I proceeded to remove the dog forcibly from the bed as my son ran down the stairs thinking CUJO was on his heels.

     Now anyone who follows this blog knows how deeply devoted and in mommy love with this four legged creature I am.  However, growling at my firstborn and me because you are too comfortable to get your bony ass up and go pee is not gonna fly in this household.  She got the message, headed down the stairs and out the door to do her business.  She complied and thought it was going to be business as usual.  Step two after going out in the morning is waiting in the kitchen for her breathe saver bone (that is for my sake) and her treat.  I then add ice cubes to her fresh water and fill her food bowl.  She also has toast with us when I make breakfast for Brie and myself.  NOT TODAY DOGGIE DEVILLE!!! 

     Since she decided to be disobedient, she is sleeping downstairs for the remainder of the week; grounded until Sunday.  I guess she is smarter than I give her credit for because she's making herself quite cozy in her new sleeping quarters and getting back at us in her own devious manner.  She has made it impossible to sit with her on the couch.  If I sit on the left, she pushes herself against me til I'm squished in the corner, if I sit to the right, same thing.  If we dare sit in the middle or get too close to her she lays right across you with her elbows in your belly or thighs and drools all over you!!  I swear this drooling thing is to aggravate the recipient of the dog slobber.  She is very good about wiping her mouth on the towel near her bowl when she takes a drink (I trained her to do so) and the last two days, she's been neglecting this hygeinic practice.  She is flapping those big jowls right in front of you so if you turn your head, you get hair full of slobber, if you don't...well that is worse!  YUK YUK YUK  If I wanted a St. Bernard I would have got one!! 

     I'm not so sure grounding the dog is paying off as I hoped it would; teach her a lesson.  She is acting like a petulant child who lost their favorite toy.  We have Central Air so there is no need for her to hog the ceiling fans, but she is being really belligerent about it.  Even the Cat is feeling her wrath.  Poor Suzie lies on the kitchen floor near the floor vent and right underneath the ceiling fan all of the time.  That dog went over two or three times today while the poor cat was snoozing and stepped right on her belly!!  What a monster she is.  The poor cat got smooshed once and I had to make Bella remove her foot.  The other two times I yelled at her and she removed the invasive paw.  I'm really hoping this terrible heat dies down so I can stick the dog outside and we can have some peace or get to sit on the couch!  I can't wait until Matthew gets home this weekend.  Then again, she is always behaved around him and I get blamed for spoiling her too much.  Me???  NEVER...You just cannot stay mad for long at the beautiful big blue eyed dog...
    
   

ITS NOT A TREAT IT IS MEDICINE BELLA!!!

     Oh Poor Suzie. 

     Bella is normally jealous of the cat to begin with but the past two weeks have been quite a difficult time for my kitkat.  Suzie is on Antibiotics and the dog thinks she's getting treats everyday and she wants it herself!!!    Bella has been experiencing many time-outs lately in her pen. 

     Let's keep in mind how spoiled this dog is first of all.  She sleeps in our bed, she is allowed on every piece of furniture, and basically has run of the entire house.  Matthew bought her a brand new Ford F150 Supercab because she outgrew our Altima.  Bella gets Dunkin Donuts munchkins every morning when I get my coffee; even if I don't get coffee she still gets munchkins.  She receives new tug and chew toys every few weeks.  I also buy her a lb. or more of dog treats at Petco which she picks out herself each week.  And lets not forget her buttered toast; she won't eat it without butter .  The dog lives like a QUEEN.

    The cat on the other hand enjoys a quiet life of solitude.  Suzie ventures out to lay on the couch, sits on the back of my chair when I type, sleeps under the bed so Bella leaves her alone, gets treats only occasionally, and doesn't get to go outside and run wild because she is declawed.  For the most part, many cat lovers would say I discriminate against her in favor of the dog.  They may be onto something.

    There is just something about being attacked by a cat unexpectedly at random that puts you on edge.  I am sometimes leary of whether she's going to purr or growl when I go to pet her.  Luckily, the front claws were removed when she was young because she loved tearing flesh.  Yes, mine!!!  Whether it be a finger, toe, ankle, swat across the face, or the worst; sneak attack while sleeping on your tummy and you wake up screaming because you have a cat using your back as a scratching post.  Forgive me, if I chose to keep my skin where it belongs and that of my family and friends.  It was for the "Greater Good" Suzie was altered.

     Maybe subconsciously, I thought Bella could keep her in line.  She definitely tries.  They get along on occasion, but lately, the dog has taken to chasing Suzie away every time she sees her.  On our trip to the vet two weeks ago, I was informed Suzie has infected gums.  I felt like a terrible Mommy because, I didn't know.  She was eating, was still being a normal crabby cat, and her disdain towards me hadn't changed.  The Vet decided to put her on Antibiotics for 10 days or until the gums were cleared.  My first thought was "I need to buy gloves".  Sure enough, the Vet gives me a dropper and marks the measurement, etc.  The next morning here we go....

I catch the Cat who is growling and hissing as expected.  I place her on the kitchen island and here comes Bella.  I have an open bottle of pink sticky smelly medicine, a screeching cat, and a growling dog pulling at my jeans because she thinks I'm giving the cat a treat!   Long behold, Bella jumps up as I am trying to get the dropper in the cat's mouth while being bitten repeatedly.  The dog grabs the open bottle and is off!!!  Needless to say, the cat got squashed to the counter; medicine administered! Now to catch the dog.  Well, there she is with the bottle halfway down her throat and pink sticky stuff on her paws and our beige couch!!!  She couldn't have stayed in the kitchen because that would have been too easy.  After extracting the bottle from the dogs jaws, I threw away what was left. 

I called the Vet, explained what happened and asked if I could come pick up another bottle of Antibiotics.  After she was done laughing at me, she says "Sure I will have it ready when you get here Mrs. George."  So I said, "OK, how much is that going to be?"  She checks, gets back on the phone and says "$29.00".  I was floored!!!  For a friggin cat's gums!!  DAMN DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!  Then I looked at Bella and decided not to say a thing more.  I have always believed that if you say something hurtful, you can't take it back so I bit my tongue; afterall she is one of my children :)

The lesson I learned from this experience, is put the jealous dog in the pen if you are unsure of her reaction to a new situation.  I'm thinking next time I have to administer something to the cat or one of the children who is uncooperative, I may have a bottle of Nyquil at the ready so Bella can grab that and run.  Maybe she'll give us a few hours of peace while she sleeps like a baby!!!    Well not seriously... but it has crossed my mind on occasion.

Bella Versus Nature

     Whew!!! Bella and the family have been busy.  "Hello Sunshine"!!!!  Bella has gained about 10 more pounds which means I really need to work out to keep up with her.  I am seriousl
y considering rollerblades to accomplish this feat.  It was a funny afterthought before but now I think it may be a necessity.  This dog can be out the door and in the truck in 4 leaps. 

     Bella has decided she likes Nature in our front yard.  We have wild turkeys passing through on a  regular basis.  My dog has decided standing in the Bay window will scare them away.  I don't mean in front of it; I mean IN IT... She jumps up on the window ledge and whines like a madwoman.  If I happen to be non-decaffeinated and mistakenly open the door she is off like a greyhound at Lincoln Park.  I'm waiting for a turkey to have a stroke in my front yard!!! "I wonder if I would have to bring it to the Vet or Animal Control would come pick it up"  lol...Sorry sidenote...  The deer; well that's another story.  She chases them too but never gets close enough to do any damage.  Maybe if she didn't start barking and growling before she hit the front steps, she'd have better luck.  This dog's bark can probably be heard a mile away so "stealth" is not her strong suit.  She also likes the 82" big screen my Hubby and Son love.  If we are watching Animal Planet, all you need is a barking dog and Bella is snapping, growling and drooling all over the Living Room.  I swear one of these days, the big paws are going to slam right into that TV instead of the console it sits on. I just hope, Matthew is home when it happens so he knows it was the dog and not one of the kids playing ball in the house!!! 

     I recorded Bella watching TV recently; Hogzilla to be exact.  Has anyone seen it??  Interesting right; NOT!!! Some of these shows about myth monsters are pretty cool but I must say this one was just stupid.  Turns out it was basically a farmpig on steroids, but it looked like a mutant wildebeast or something. It was UGLY!!!  Bella wanted it for lunch.  This was the first time she actually launched herself at the TV.  I screamed and tripped over my own feet jumping off the couch to grab her.  She tried to bite the TV thinking it was the Pig's throat.  She really thought she could attack it.  Again, who faceplanted - not the DOG!!!!  Fortunately, when I hit the floor and the expletives flew out of my mouth, the dog took notice and stopped short of the screen in mid-snap. After that we decided to see if she would have the same reaction if we put it on again and this time had Bella safely in her pen... Same reaction without me hitting the floor. 

   Unfortunately for our cat Suzie, Bella finds prey in the house out of frustration.  The cat becomes the hunted when Bella can't get a turkey or deer.  Good thing the furball is pretty smart.  She has found hiding places in this house that I would have never thought of.  This is not always good for me though.  This morning was a perfect example.  Wild turkeys were driving Bella battie so she goes after the cat and the cat runs like Hell.  I figure I'm not going to see the cat now for a few hours.  Brie says, "Uh, there goes Suzie again.  She better run fast or Bella's gonna eat her."  I guess the five year old is convinced the dog will indeed eat the cat.  I'm still not sure and they do curl up together at night to sleep so I think the cat may be safe; at least for now. 

     I am going about my business getting the house picked up, and am going to go take my shower.  I open the door and reach to switch on the faucet.  Suddenly there is something smacking my hand and there are two furry things wrapped around my forearm hissing.  OMG!! What the hell is in the shower???  I rip my arm away expecting to see a bloody stump, but my cat flies by me heading for the door.  Whew Wee - DECLAWED!!!!  Jesus!!! Could you hide somewhere else please.  She had been sitting on one of the seats in the shower so the dog couldn't find her.  I guess when I reached to turn on the water, she freaked.  Welcome to my world kitty kat!!! 
    
     For the most part, Bella is a good dog.  She is absolutely wonderful with little kids; Brie in particular but our nephew came over to play today and she proved again why I love her like one of my own kids even though she is obviously crazy!!!  Joshua and Bella curled up on the couch and napped together today.  It was so absolutely adorable.  Bella growled at Bear in the Big Blue House on TV for about 10 minutes when she awoke but Joshua assured her Bear wasn't real while he patted her head and calmed her down.  At least this time, she didn't lunge at the TV just spoke her mind about the big bear.  Joshua proceeded to give her some dog treats while I covertly changed the channel.  All is well once again with the Big Blue DOG in the Big Blue House!!!! 

Stay tuned... 

    

That Time of the Month

     Well it has been awhile since Bella and I have had anything to report to her fans.  She made it through her first Heat without tearing anyone's throat out, she didn't ruin the furniture and she has stopped sounding like Chewbacca.  My pup is back to normal and actually seems to have mellowed out a bit; just a little bit mind you.  She is still very loving and affectionate, fiercely protective of me and Brianna when we go to the park, and still loves to get Glazed Munchkins at Dunkin Donuts every morning.  The only problem I've seen so far, is having been locked up for three weeks and not being able to go for her daily walk, has set us back a bit on loose leash walking.  I think it would be wise to invest in rollerblades to keep up with her now.  She has decided a steady trot while biting the leash and working on ripping it out of my hands is our new routine.  If I don't let go or pull on the choker in time, she is up on her hind legs wacking me in the face as a way of telling me she wants me to let go.  I'm hoping the scratches from last week don't scar.  It is quite comical to witness if you're not the one holding the leash.  Unfortunately, I'm always holding the damn leash!!

   After our first walk, we headed to Petco which was nearly disastrous.  I have now discovered after 4 or 5 trips that Bella no longer wishes to have her nails filed.  The poor girls at Petco have decided that my poor dog needs to be muzzled from now on because baring her teeth and snapping is rather intimidating for them and apparently does not fall under The Good Dog Code of Ethics.  I have a wooden spoon at home that I bring out when she gets out of hand, all I have to do is whack it on the counter and tell her to go in her pen and she goes.   I'm not so sure the girls would think it would be appropriate to use as a training tool.  I'm thinking Bella may take it away from them and spank one of them with it anyway.  She has tried taking it out of my hand more than once or if its left on the counter, I've caught her trying to commandeer it and get rid of it herself.

   It took two techs to hold her down to file her nails and when she saw me, she dragged one of them  across the room with a bunch of people staring in disbelief as the poor girl careened into the door.  I felt terrible but it was hilarious.  It looked like a cartoon with the poor girl flying through the air at the end of the leash.  I actually found a bumper sticker for our truck with this very same silhouette.  She was laughing so hard when we got the dog under control that I thought she may pee her pants.  Her comment was "I guess I should have let go of the leash".  I said, "Yup, that would have been my choice."  This is when they decided to tell me she had to be muzzled in the future.  I suspect this may have something to do with that incident. 
    
     I guess it is back to the drawing board.  Fortunately, we only have to go through one more Heat before Bella will be able to become a mom herself.  I think I will be better prepared second time around.  I'll have earplugs ready for the kids and myself, I'll have a muzzle at the ready when we go walking, and I'll make sure there are gates setup throughout the whole house so she cannot venture onto furniture at will when I'm not looking.  "Thank Goodness for Resolve!!!"  I hope Bella doesn't hold a grudge about being confined for three weeks because when she stands on her hind legs now she is a full head taller than me and has decided now that when she wants to sit on the couch where I am, she simply grabs a pantleg and pulls until I move out of her way.  I guess being female and having now gone through puberty she'll be more like a moody teenager than a cranky little kid.  Lord help us all; the attitude has grown and so has the dog!!  Check back soon.  Thanks for reading.  


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Do Dogs Have PMS Too???

Oh my poor Bella.  She has not been very social for a couple of days.  We have skipped the park and she doesn't even want her Dunkin Donuts Munchkins... Because of her mood, I'm not getting my much needed exercise which is making me not very social either.  She's been lying in her pen ignoring the home populous for two days now.  I was starting to think my pup may be depressed.  For the life of me I couldn't figure out why until this morning.  OMG!!  My baby is in HEAT!!! 

According to experts; there are three stages of this doggy menstrual cycle.  She is in the "spotting" stage called Proestrus.  I knew it would happen but as a mom you don't want to have that talk or deal with the thought of your kid having kids.  My Bella is not ready for puppies and neither am I.  Even though the thought of 10 or 12 little Bella's running around is sweet, I'd lose my freakin' mind!!  So would she.  I have limited her access to the entire house; a beige couch is not conducive to this particular situation.  She is comfortable but not liking only 2 rooms to hang out in.  It's really making her incorrigible.  She's been whining at me and speaking her mind since we woke up this morning.  Enough already!!!  Bella sounds like Chewbacca when she gets upset.  I feel bad, but it's so funny to hear.  My son thought I was watching one of the Star Wars movies today.  I said "No, it's just Bella complaining again".  I told my husband and he suggested I give her my Pamprin.  Hmmm... men think they're funny when it is just not so.

My poor spoiled Bella...She is very upset and if she was able to, I think she'd call my husband and plead her case.  I know she wants to file a complaint against me with PetCo.  The girls there love Bella and I'm thinking they may be on her side suggesting a blanket over the couch or something.  However, I'm not having it!!  I looked into Doggie Diapers but then I read somewhere that for a dog of her size, Depends are a better route to take.  I'm sorry but I cannot picture my Bella in a diaper.  It seems like she'd be very against this idea too.  She is a very dignified young lady and I cannot see myself trying to put a damn diaper on her.  I believe I may get away without actual puncture wounds, but I think there may be some serious lacerations on my person by the time we were done.  I'd also be afraid my son would be trying to videotape the whole incident and put us on YouTube.  He thinks my pain is comedic material.  TEENAGERS!!!

Oh well, according to these experts the next stage is the one I really need to worry about; Estrus.  This is when she is going to be trying to sneak out and see all the boys in the neighborhood.  I'm not sure if it is a coincidence or not, but there was a brown and white Pitbull at the end of my driveway today.  He appeared to be looking all innocent out for a stroll but I'm thinking he may have been looking for my girl.  "Sorry man. She's not your type.  Go home."  That's what I wanted to tell him but he had some seriously big teeth and I decided I would just let him go on his way.  I know male dogs can be quite persistent when trying to hook up on these occasions so I'm keeping Bella under lock and key. 

I''m hoping this Proestrus only lasts a few days.  The estimated time for the "spotting" stage is 4 to 7 days.  After that she is super flirty and will need a chastity belt against all her potential suitors.  The last stage is Anestrus which is what I'm looking forward to.  That is when the spotting is done, her amourous thoughts will be gone and she'll simply have good ole PMS like the rest of us females!!  Then her attitude will be "Leave me the hell alone".  For Bella this terrible cycle won't return for another 6 to 7 months.  Blessed Be!!!!

Unfortunately for males of our species, this cycle hits us once a month!!  "Everyone, please say a prayer for my Bella."  She will get through this turmoil and become a woman soon.  Maybe in a year or two we will let her actually date one of her admirers which could lead to a loving relationship.  At that point we can enjoy 10 or 12 little Bella's running around.   But for now, I have to wear earplugs to bed because Chewbacca is in the house!!!!!!!

The Dog Walks Me

     It's been awhile since Bella and I sat down to discuss future posts.  Believe it or not, she has some definite input on what I am allowed to share with the world.  I'm not allowed to talk about her fear of rugs, her lack of warning until someone is already at the door, her dislike for hats of any kind and her dislike of the Sodastream machine.   It's absolutely hilarious to see a dog try to wrestle with a vacuum also...(Bella is growling so I don't think she wanted me to reveal that)... I'm just saying.
     We have taken on a new endeavor.  The dog has started walking me every afternoon while Brie is at school.  It is a halfhearted effort on my part to lose the 30 "love pounds" I've gained so far in this blessed union with my husband Matthew.  At this rate I better not stay married for more than 10 years or I'm going to be on one of those intervention shows for not being able to fit through the damn door.  It cracks me up how so many people say "So what you've gained a few pounds, he loves you for you".  Yes, well we'll see how far that goes if I get heavier than him!!! I will avoid that with Bella's help.  Since I plan on staying married to this man until the day I take my last breath I better get the diet train on track!!
     It is impossible to walk this 100 lb monster of a pup without a choke chain.  I was thoroughly against them until I got dragged across the yard a few times on my butt trying to hold her back.  Now the choke chain is a gift from the big puppy Gods.  I use a double handle leash which serves us well.  It is helping her learn not to zig zag in front of me and I can guide her back to my side where she is still learning to walk in a straight line.  We did invest in an Easy walk harness thingymagiggie but if my husband isn't home I cannot figure out how to put it on the dog.  As embarrassing as this may be, technologically advanced I am not.  The harness is still rather large for her anyway.   She hasn't grown into her "girth" yet.  She is more like a Greyhound than a Great Dane.  Hopefully, no supermodels read my blog and get offended but I call her my starving supermodel because she is absolutely gorgeous but too skinny in my opinion. All the experts say she is perfect so I can't argue with the Vets but I'd like to see her put some meat on her bones.  I guess after about another year she'll start to fill out. 
     I'm discovering how nice it is to walk with Bella as long as no one comes near us.  There are some interesting characters in our travels.  The trenchcoat man was no way getting near this dog.  She turned into KUJO and was actually foaming at the mouth to try and get a better look at him.  How embarrassing when you're dog is so obvious about how creepy someone is.  I have to admit I wanted to study his face to see if maybe he was on an episode of America's Most Wanted or Cops.  If we see him again, I will be sure to walk her in the grass on the opposite side near the river.  That way I can tackle her to the ground in the grass instead of on the pavement.   That really hurts.  Another person who caught Bella's attention was a nice older woman who seemed very nice and really wanted to pet Bella.  She would have been able to if not for the flowerpot-looking hat on her head.  It seems she was making a fashion statement of some sort, but since I'm not up on trends, I was unaware of what that statement was.  Nonetheless, Bella didn't like the hat at all and started growling and trying to jump on the poor woman!  I believe she only wanted to tear the hat to shreds, not the woman, but I will have to find a chew toy that looks like that hat.  It would keep her busy for a day or two.  Again, next time we see her, we'll be walking in the grass near the river.  We will have to see what tomorrow's walk brings.  It is supposed to be in the mid 60s so there will probably be quite a few potential hazards at the park tomorrow.  We'll have to see....     

OK NOW WHERE IS MY PHONE!!!

I was really beginning to think Bella's habit of trying to eat anything inedible was coming to an end.  I was proven terribly wrong the other day.  I've given up on stopping the ingestion of part of her blanket a couple times a week.  I found these really cute $3.00 blankets that she adores.  Each one lasts about a month between the shredding, drooling and tearing.  Once she starts tearing off little tidbits and chews on them for more than a minute, momma takes the blanket away for a day and she drags the other 3 around the house showing me she'll behave and only lay on them.  We are on blanket #8 as of this morning.  Brianna's bathrobe happens to be about the right texture and I noticed this morning there were a couple of claw marks through it.  I'm guessimating Brianna left the robe on the couch last night and Bella mistook it for her own.  We will have to find another purple robe ASAP! 

As I sit here and type I see that I'm going to have to take the leapord print blanket away next.  Bella is two feet away growling and whining at the blanket while she chews on a piece.  This is her telling the blanket it's seen its last sunrise.  Which brings me back to my story.  I managed to get my phone back before it too was ingested.

I am infamous for losing my phone; my poor husband Matthew, and best friend Lori can attest to this.  I can go two days with no phone before I realize I misplaced it.  Usually it is in one of the vehicles under the seat, down the couch or underneath the bed, sometimes even in a laundry basket in the laundry room.  I am so bad at keeping track of it.  Well the other day, I was really conscious of my phone because I was waiting for an important call and I knew I left it on the table in the living room.  The table happens to be shorter than Bella so she can grab whatever she wants off of it.  Usually there isn't much there so we are safe.  She's never taken a phone so far so I thought nothing of leaving it there.  It is so wrong to underestimate this dog. 

Bella is lying on the floor and I notice she's chewing very quietly but I haven't given her a treat.  It looks like she's having some difficulty so I go over and just as I'm about to pry open her drooly jowls, the phone starts to ring and "YOU GUESSED IT".  There is my phone in her mouth.  It scared the dickens out of the pup and instead of dropping it she makes a mad dash for the hallway and "surprize"... right up the stairs.  I am halling butt after this gazelle of a dog and by the time I get to the top step she is down the hall, facing me with her head to the ground and her butt in the air challenging me to come and get her.  She's growling and her tail is whacking into the wall on each side in  quite an exuberant manner.  I can see it in her eyes "Catch me if you can".  Silly me, I take the bait every time but I really needed to get that phone.  I don't think she can swallow a whole phone, but after the $2000.00 potpouri incident I didn't want to take any chances.  Of course, I dive for the dog, the dog runs over my back and bounds down the steps in three leaps.  I swear she has deer in her bloodline somewhere.  As I head down the steps; cautiously two at a time, I have an epiphany.  I pick up the house phone and dial my cell. 

If you could have seen how fast this dog stopped, I swear she left skid marks on the rug.  She looks at me and her eyes are so wide she looks like a caricature.  All of a sudden, she starts shaking her head rapidly and growling while she jumps up on her hind legs.  With one big snap of her head the phone comes sailing out and as I duck it slams into the wall behind me.  This is reminiscent of when my sister flung scissors at my head when we were unruly teenagers putting away the groceries... but that's another story.  MY POOR PHONE.  I was positive it was destroyed.  Bella and I both walk slowly over to the phone wondering what we are going to find when suddenly it starts beeping.  I had a text message!!  YEAH!  My phone is still working.  There is drool dripping down the wall and as I pick up the phone from the carpet, it slips out of my hand because, lets just say slimey is an understatement for anything this dog drops from her jowls.  After toweling off the phone, it is good as new.. Well almost.  On closer inspection, there are some teeth marks in the rubber backing, there are a few scratches across the front so texting could be a bit challenging, but it's still in one piece. 

I better warn my husband when he gets home this weekend.  He and the boy have been playing PS3 quite a bit lately; some new game "Twisted Metal".  I don't think those controllers are much bigger than my phone...  HHHMMM  I dont' really care for video games anyway.  Maybe we'll just see what happens the next time they leave those controllers on that little living room table.

What Happened to my Whacky DOG!!!

My poor Bella has not had a very pleasant time of it the past week or so.  First the Pats gave away the Superbowl; Can we say "How do Gronkowski, Welker and Branch all drop the ball in the same game?"  Oh well, there is always next year right.  To make matters worse I never did get my hands on a Giants Jersey for Bella to chew up during the game but she kept herself busy chewing on a pair of slippers in our room away from our guests. And no they weren't my Pink Pig Slippers  "Thanks to all who came to our Superbowl Party"  I thought it was a smash and boy was I SMASHED!!!  Anyway back to the topic of this entry.  Our home has been Sick People Central. 

First Brianna was not feeling well and as four year olds do, sneezing and coughing all over everyone.  Most of the time she uses her manners but after being up night after night the poor kid's arm was probably tired from covering her mouth.  Matthew came down with her symptoms next, then Sean, and last of all Me.  Bella has been mommy's nurse for four days now.  This pup has not left my side.  She hasn't gotten much sleep due to my coughing and sneezing, moaning and complaining (I do not take being sick well). She has finally starting whining a bit herself but has been quite a good little trooper up to this point.  I noticed every time I cough or clear my throat the dog has begun rolling her eyes.  She's thinking "Enough is enough already". 

She's really been on her best behavior.  The only inanimate and inedible objects she's eaten lately are one of her chew toys; which according to Petco is safe for her to ingest, a small piece of one of her many blankets she drags around to her nap stations periodically, and she did get one of Brianna's socks because I couldnt' get off the couch quick enough to grab it.  I swear I saw a smile on that dog's face as I tried miserably to lift my head off the pillow and command she drop the sock.  She devoured it not even 4 feet in front of me and I could not do a thing about it.  Besides that, chasing and biting the cat has been at a rare minimum.  The daring dane has only gotten up to inspect the food on the counter a couple times in the past few days.  I'm assuming dry toast is not appealing to her.  Barking at every little thing has stopped because she can't figure out why I shriek in agony and bury my head under the couch pillows when she barks lately.  She cocks her head sideways and looks at me wondering why there are tears streaming from my bloodshot eyes.  It's because my ears are ready to burst and the migraine or sinus pain is unbearable with a whisper; nevermind a deep bark that can wake the dead!!!   Over the past couple of days she has resorted to lying next to me and putting a paw on top of my head as if to remind me I cannot simply die.  I need to get up and put ice cubes in her dish or fill her food bowl.  She is actually prancing in front of the front door to go out and do her business rather than bark in my face.  It's definitely a plus from pre-illness.  More than once, I mistook her need to urinate as a prelude to tearing my throat out.  Needless to say she never would but when nature calls, the Devil Dog is Alive!!!

This being sick thing may be good afterall.  Maybe I can trick Bella into continuing her moderately good behavior for a bit longer while I recover from my tuberculosis like symptoms!!!!!  (They say its allergies not the flu  HAA!!!)  Then again, I kinda miss not knowing what the big girl is going to do next.  The kids are actually asking what I did to the dog?  I think they are afraid I may do something similar to them?  Not really sure but while I convalesce I will enjoy the normalcy of my whacky loveable dog.  I just fear retribution is going to be hell.  Then again, it will just give me more to write about.  OK, time to go take more meds!!!!!!!!!   If any of you have similar experiences with your whacky loveable pups send me a comment.  Be back with you all soon :)

How Much Do We Love our Bella???

Hello again friends.  This post is dedicated primarily to those of my readers who have a loving dog in their life who is like their kid.  A pup's love is as unconditional as a child's love.  No matter what kind of home they live in, how they are treated, or how many times they get put in "time out", a dog will always come for a treat, will always miss you when you're gone, and wait patiently by the door for you to come home.  My Bella can be a handful but today she reminded me of that unconditional love and how much of a child she is. 

Often times, I'm still figuring out how to plan my day since staying home with the kids.  Bella tries to give me ideas in her own little way.  This dog will drag a shirt out of the laundry basket which tells me I need to do a batch of clothes.  Bella will pull a coat off the back of a chair showing me it's time to go for a ride in the truck.  Other times, she will pull pillows and blankets off the couch letting me know they are in her way because she wants to lie down.  Today she was simply being a little kid..

I was cleaning up after breakfast and Bella was barking up a storm.  When I entered the living room, she was lying down on the couch under her blanket barking for no apparent reason.  I went over and asked her what was the matter.  I knew she'd had her treat, gone out to do her business, and she had already played with her tennis ball.  I sat down next to her and rubbed her head asking "What's the matter my girl?"  She stretched out, laid across my lap and promptly went to sleep.  She just wanted me to be with her for her nap. I just sat there patting her head and talking to her quietly about what a good dog she was.  I stayed with her for about half an hour and then decided it was time to get back to my daily task list.

While I was sitting there I found myself thinking of when my son was small.  We used to sit and cuddle on the couch and I would tell him how proud I was of him, what a good boy he was, etc.  Sitting with Bella today was like sharing a special moment with your kids.  My son Sean turned 15 today and I was thinking about how fast he's growing up and how much he's "grown" away from mommy now that he's a teenager.  I guess I was missing those times.  Bella knew just what to do to make mommy feel better.  Sometimes a dog just knows when a parent needs to be reminded of their child's unconditional love.
 
Thanks for reading...come back soon :)

Bella's Chasing Her Tail Again

I never realized how lethal a dog's tail could be.  Lady Bella has a whip attached to her butt!  It is very funny to see a dog as big as my girl spinning in circles to catch her tail.  Since she has grown and the tail has also, all she needs to do now is turn her head slightly and take a chomp.  Unlike some dogs who chase their tails, Bella doesn't really have to work at it to get ahold of that thing.  She will wake up sometimes and her tail looks more appetizing than her tug toy so she puts it in her mouth and the race is on.  Once she has ahold, watch out. 

When she was smaller, I don't believe she realized the white tip is attached.  If she caught a glimpse of it she would growl and attack.  It was a foreign object that needed to be destroyed.  We were all very puzzled watching her when this occurred because the initial bite seemed quite painful but instead of saying to herself  "oh maybe I don't want to do that" she would growl and yelp taking a more vicious run at it.  She would sit there biting it repeatedly, showing this tail who was boss.  She has grown out of that finally. 

Now the tail is her first line of defense.  She uses it for evasive maneuvers while trying to avoid capture.  As mischievous as Bella is suffice it to say, she is in time out quite often.  She has learned by accident once she is in a spin, no one is brave enough to try and grab her.  The tail is no longer an enemy but her ally against the dreaded pen.  She does not like going in her pen anymore for any reason whatsoever.  I noticed today how deliberate this tail spin is.  She was chasing our cat Suzie today in an attempt to bite her tail too.  The cat does not like this game.  Of course I don't allow it  either which bothers Bella.  I was on the move to stop her which means we play "ring around the rosie" around the kitchen island until I catch Bella or I fall down when she screams by like a racecar with legs instead of wheels.  Today I got whipped like a ragdoll.  As she flew by, I grabbed for her collar and she went for her tail immediately going into a full tilt 360.  After being pulled off my feet and slammed into the side of the island she realized I'd let go and stopped the spin only to smack me right in the face with that tail!  OUCH...Talk about adding insult to injury. 

Keep in mind the reason for this matchup was to rescue the damn cat.  I stood up having decided the dog can do what she wants for the next five minutes until my head stops spinning.  I look up to see  Suzie sitting on the island watching this scene.  The cat is cleaning her paw and Bella comes over and licks her furry little face.  I wonder sometimes what those two are planning next.

Turning Bella into a Pats Fan

As stated on my Facebook page recently, Bella is not a football fan.  I'm starting to think it's not really anything to do with football but the fact that when football is on no one pays attention to her.  This is not acceptable human behavior.  Last night my hubby and son were playing Madden on PS3.  Bella wasn't interested at first but once she tried getting their attention, a few times to no avail she came to get mommy to help her with this task. 

I guess pulling me off the bar stool in the kitchen was her way of saying "back me up here".  I explained to her when the boys are playing Madden; leave them alone.  She didn't get it.  She went back to the living room and tried blocking their view by jumping around in front of the TV and growling at their feet.  Since the TV is an 83" monstrosity, that didn't work very well.  They simply ignored her and continued taking jabs at each other about the others lack of sporting prowess and the dog continued ranting and raving.

Being a female I figured, I'd clue her in.  Once there is a game on of any sort;, whether it be a video game, rerun of last week's highlights on ESPN, a team they don't really follow, or an actual Patriots game, there is no amount of moaning, crying, pouting, stomping, yelling and screaming.  OOPS; I meant barking or growling that is going to get their attention until the game is over or at least a reprieve meaning a commercial.  Good luck puppy dog - If a tantrum doesn't work for mommy it isn't going to work for you!!! 

Now the question is, what do we do for the Superbowl!!! Maybe we will put her in a Giants jersey and call it a day... At least she'll have something to chew on while the rest of us watch the game.

Bella vs The Pink Pig Slippers

Most of my friends know that I am an animal lover.  In fact, for those who don't know I used to be the proud mommy of a pot belly pig named "Little Porker".  He was the best "dog" we ever had.  Considering Bella's notorious bad behavior, he still holds that title.  When I bought Little Porker he was only 15lbs.  By the time I was forced to adopt him out, he was 165 lbs and not  very comfortable in a two bedroom apartment.  I had major withdrawal symptoms after I had to give my baby away so I started collectiong pigs after he was gone.  I have stuffed animals, some kitchen gadgets including the cutest cannisters and some really adorable slippers. 

This is the problem.  Every time I wear my favorite piggy slippers Bella goes crazy.  I took a break from the Patriots/Ravens to give Matthew; my husband, some peace.  Bella has been barking nonstop since she spied the slippers on my feet.  She's been lunging, growling, barking and trying to steal the slippers from me.  I have two options, remove the slippers and put on socks as Matthew suggests or block the dog's view of the slippers so she doesn't notice them.  Only problem with that option is, she isn't really a dumb dog.  She knows the slippers are hiding under that blanket...The outcome will be determined by who is more stubborn:  Will I keep the slippers on and fight with the dog for the rest of the game or are me and the dog going to get thrown out of the living room by my hubby???   I'm betting on Matthew throwing us out of the living room...   GO PATRIOTS  All I know is I'm not taking off my slippers... :)

This pup will never learn...

I'm beginning to think Bella is either looking for attention or thinks I need more exercise. 

I am convinced my dog has a sock fetish.  We have had to close the laundry room door since she could peer over the baskets.  She steals a sock or two every day.  Today I retrieved 3 socks from those drooly jowls.  Between dish towels placed neatly or socks haphazardly tossed around the house by a 4 year old and 14 year old, it is impossible to help this dog kick her habit.  Even with the laundry room inaccessible there is bounty aplenty.

While my mother in law was visiting over the summer Bella actually went rummaging in her suitcase to find a sock that was "just right".  I don't know if she tires of her chew toys, likes the feel of cotton or just likes to see mommy do laps around the kitchen island, through the dining room and into the living room on my quest to save the sock.  It's a daily course I've become accustomed to.  I've thought of setting up an obstacle course along the way to make it more challenging for both of us.  A very subtle track is being formed in the carpet.  I wonder if I should simply buy Bella some socks of her own?  Then again, she'd find something else to keep herself amused.  I wonder if it would be easier to have 3 year old triplets.  No that's not a good idea - many more socks to deal with then.