Oh my poor Bella. She has not been very social for a couple of days. We have skipped the park and she doesn't even want her Dunkin Donuts Munchkins... Because of her mood, I'm not getting my much needed exercise which is making me not very social either. She's been lying in her pen ignoring the home populous for two days now. I was starting to think my pup may be depressed. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why until this morning. OMG!! My baby is in HEAT!!!
According to experts; there are three stages of this doggy menstrual cycle. She is in the "spotting" stage called Proestrus. I knew it would happen but as a mom you don't want to have that talk or deal with the thought of your kid having kids. My Bella is not ready for puppies and neither am I. Even though the thought of 10 or 12 little Bella's running around is sweet, I'd lose my freakin' mind!! So would she. I have limited her access to the entire house; a beige couch is not conducive to this particular situation. She is comfortable but not liking only 2 rooms to hang out in. It's really making her incorrigible. She's been whining at me and speaking her mind since we woke up this morning. Enough already!!! Bella sounds like Chewbacca when she gets upset. I feel bad, but it's so funny to hear. My son thought I was watching one of the Star Wars movies today. I said "No, it's just Bella complaining again". I told my husband and he suggested I give her my Pamprin. Hmmm... men think they're funny when it is just not so.
My poor spoiled Bella...She is very upset and if she was able to, I think she'd call my husband and plead her case. I know she wants to file a complaint against me with PetCo. The girls there love Bella and I'm thinking they may be on her side suggesting a blanket over the couch or something. However, I'm not having it!! I looked into Doggie Diapers but then I read somewhere that for a dog of her size, Depends are a better route to take. I'm sorry but I cannot picture my Bella in a diaper. It seems like she'd be very against this idea too. She is a very dignified young lady and I cannot see myself trying to put a damn diaper on her. I believe I may get away without actual puncture wounds, but I think there may be some serious lacerations on my person by the time we were done. I'd also be afraid my son would be trying to videotape the whole incident and put us on YouTube. He thinks my pain is comedic material. TEENAGERS!!!
Oh well, according to these experts the next stage is the one I really need to worry about; Estrus. This is when she is going to be trying to sneak out and see all the boys in the neighborhood. I'm not sure if it is a coincidence or not, but there was a brown and white Pitbull at the end of my driveway today. He appeared to be looking all innocent out for a stroll but I'm thinking he may have been looking for my girl. "Sorry man. She's not your type. Go home." That's what I wanted to tell him but he had some seriously big teeth and I decided I would just let him go on his way. I know male dogs can be quite persistent when trying to hook up on these occasions so I'm keeping Bella under lock and key.
I''m hoping this Proestrus only lasts a few days. The estimated time for the "spotting" stage is 4 to 7 days. After that she is super flirty and will need a chastity belt against all her potential suitors. The last stage is Anestrus which is what I'm looking forward to. That is when the spotting is done, her amourous thoughts will be gone and she'll simply have good ole PMS like the rest of us females!! Then her attitude will be "Leave me the hell alone". For Bella this terrible cycle won't return for another 6 to 7 months. Blessed Be!!!!
Unfortunately for males of our species, this cycle hits us once a month!! "Everyone, please say a prayer for my Bella." She will get through this turmoil and become a woman soon. Maybe in a year or two we will let her actually date one of her admirers which could lead to a loving relationship. At that point we can enjoy 10 or 12 little Bella's running around. But for now, I have to wear earplugs to bed because Chewbacca is in the house!!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
The Dog Walks Me
It's been awhile since Bella and I sat down to discuss future posts. Believe it or not, she has some definite input on what I am allowed to share with the world. I'm not allowed to talk about her fear of rugs, her lack of warning until someone is already at the door, her dislike for hats of any kind and her dislike of the Sodastream machine. It's absolutely hilarious to see a dog try to wrestle with a vacuum also...(Bella is growling so I don't think she wanted me to reveal that)... I'm just saying.
We have taken on a new endeavor. The dog has started walking me every afternoon while Brie is at school. It is a halfhearted effort on my part to lose the 30 "love pounds" I've gained so far in this blessed union with my husband Matthew. At this rate I better not stay married for more than 10 years or I'm going to be on one of those intervention shows for not being able to fit through the damn door. It cracks me up how so many people say "So what you've gained a few pounds, he loves you for you". Yes, well we'll see how far that goes if I get heavier than him!!! I will avoid that with Bella's help. Since I plan on staying married to this man until the day I take my last breath I better get the diet train on track!!
It is impossible to walk this 100 lb monster of a pup without a choke chain. I was thoroughly against them until I got dragged across the yard a few times on my butt trying to hold her back. Now the choke chain is a gift from the big puppy Gods. I use a double handle leash which serves us well. It is helping her learn not to zig zag in front of me and I can guide her back to my side where she is still learning to walk in a straight line. We did invest in an Easy walk harness thingymagiggie but if my husband isn't home I cannot figure out how to put it on the dog. As embarrassing as this may be, technologically advanced I am not. The harness is still rather large for her anyway. She hasn't grown into her "girth" yet. She is more like a Greyhound than a Great Dane. Hopefully, no supermodels read my blog and get offended but I call her my starving supermodel because she is absolutely gorgeous but too skinny in my opinion. All the experts say she is perfect so I can't argue with the Vets but I'd like to see her put some meat on her bones. I guess after about another year she'll start to fill out.
I'm discovering how nice it is to walk with Bella as long as no one comes near us. There are some interesting characters in our travels. The trenchcoat man was no way getting near this dog. She turned into KUJO and was actually foaming at the mouth to try and get a better look at him. How embarrassing when you're dog is so obvious about how creepy someone is. I have to admit I wanted to study his face to see if maybe he was on an episode of America's Most Wanted or Cops. If we see him again, I will be sure to walk her in the grass on the opposite side near the river. That way I can tackle her to the ground in the grass instead of on the pavement. That really hurts. Another person who caught Bella's attention was a nice older woman who seemed very nice and really wanted to pet Bella. She would have been able to if not for the flowerpot-looking hat on her head. It seems she was making a fashion statement of some sort, but since I'm not up on trends, I was unaware of what that statement was. Nonetheless, Bella didn't like the hat at all and started growling and trying to jump on the poor woman! I believe she only wanted to tear the hat to shreds, not the woman, but I will have to find a chew toy that looks like that hat. It would keep her busy for a day or two. Again, next time we see her, we'll be walking in the grass near the river. We will have to see what tomorrow's walk brings. It is supposed to be in the mid 60s so there will probably be quite a few potential hazards at the park tomorrow. We'll have to see....
We have taken on a new endeavor. The dog has started walking me every afternoon while Brie is at school. It is a halfhearted effort on my part to lose the 30 "love pounds" I've gained so far in this blessed union with my husband Matthew. At this rate I better not stay married for more than 10 years or I'm going to be on one of those intervention shows for not being able to fit through the damn door. It cracks me up how so many people say "So what you've gained a few pounds, he loves you for you". Yes, well we'll see how far that goes if I get heavier than him!!! I will avoid that with Bella's help. Since I plan on staying married to this man until the day I take my last breath I better get the diet train on track!!
It is impossible to walk this 100 lb monster of a pup without a choke chain. I was thoroughly against them until I got dragged across the yard a few times on my butt trying to hold her back. Now the choke chain is a gift from the big puppy Gods. I use a double handle leash which serves us well. It is helping her learn not to zig zag in front of me and I can guide her back to my side where she is still learning to walk in a straight line. We did invest in an Easy walk harness thingymagiggie but if my husband isn't home I cannot figure out how to put it on the dog. As embarrassing as this may be, technologically advanced I am not. The harness is still rather large for her anyway. She hasn't grown into her "girth" yet. She is more like a Greyhound than a Great Dane. Hopefully, no supermodels read my blog and get offended but I call her my starving supermodel because she is absolutely gorgeous but too skinny in my opinion. All the experts say she is perfect so I can't argue with the Vets but I'd like to see her put some meat on her bones. I guess after about another year she'll start to fill out.
I'm discovering how nice it is to walk with Bella as long as no one comes near us. There are some interesting characters in our travels. The trenchcoat man was no way getting near this dog. She turned into KUJO and was actually foaming at the mouth to try and get a better look at him. How embarrassing when you're dog is so obvious about how creepy someone is. I have to admit I wanted to study his face to see if maybe he was on an episode of America's Most Wanted or Cops. If we see him again, I will be sure to walk her in the grass on the opposite side near the river. That way I can tackle her to the ground in the grass instead of on the pavement. That really hurts. Another person who caught Bella's attention was a nice older woman who seemed very nice and really wanted to pet Bella. She would have been able to if not for the flowerpot-looking hat on her head. It seems she was making a fashion statement of some sort, but since I'm not up on trends, I was unaware of what that statement was. Nonetheless, Bella didn't like the hat at all and started growling and trying to jump on the poor woman! I believe she only wanted to tear the hat to shreds, not the woman, but I will have to find a chew toy that looks like that hat. It would keep her busy for a day or two. Again, next time we see her, we'll be walking in the grass near the river. We will have to see what tomorrow's walk brings. It is supposed to be in the mid 60s so there will probably be quite a few potential hazards at the park tomorrow. We'll have to see....
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