So Misunderstood

   OMGoodness! It was not a good start to the morning. Matthew was feeding the baby and planning to make Apples Washington for breakfast. I was going to head out to the Stop & Shop to pick up a few things.  When I was getting out of the shower, a very nervous husband carrying our infant came into the bathroom to tell me that there had been an accident with Bella and Brianna. The child was going to have quite a shiner. How do you think this mama bear reacted?  "That $%^&* dog! How did that happen? I told you I don't want her running around this house like a maniac and she only does it when you're home because you allow it. Now look what happened!"  Now mind you, I did not have all of the facts but assumed the dog was in the wrong instantly.

A little background if you are new to this page: Bella is a 100 pound three year old Great Dane "puppy". This dog is as hyper as anything you have ever seen when she gets excited and she only curbs it when Matthew is not home. Unfortunately, he does not buy into my idea that a 100 pound puppy needs to be in control around children at all times. He lets her be her natural dog self and I am always fearful something like this will happen. It is a major point of contention for us.

I finished getting ready and called Brie in to inspect her injury. Her eye is definitely going to be black and blue and her cheekbone looked pretty bad too. I called the emergency kids center in Rhode Island that we use. I was bound and determined to get her Xrays and prove to my husband, once and for all, the dog could not be "a dog" in the house!  Once I calmed down and got the whole story from the child and the teen who laughed when he witnessed this incident, I discovered the dog had not done anything wrong. I owed my husband an apology; well not a total apology because he did allow the dog to have her ball in the living room which I do not allow because of potential accidents. It was a simple issue of the dog and child playing on the floor when the dog dropped the ball and the child lunged for it. The dog lifted her head to get out of the way of the child and the child got hit in the face by the dog's retracting head.  Simple accident with a resulting shiner and bruised cheek.

It is difficult to blame the dog in this instance. Bella and Brie were being themselves. They were doing what a child and her dog do -- PLAY!!!  Bella was not being rough or aggressive, she was simply enjoying her time with her kid. The tragedy is that I am too nervous to allow Bella to be her natural puppy self in the house because of her size. It is not her fault she was not born a beagle.  During the week when Matthew is not home she is great, or I should say she knows she will be in trouble if she does not follow the rules set by me. Of course, she begs for food, she comes in the kitchen to inspect for scraps after meals and she is sometimes too pushy when people come to the door but overall she has adapted very well to an infant in the house and has taken to her new rules quite well. I feel bad for Bella sometimes because she was always my "baby" but I have to protect the human children before the happiness and carefree longings of the pooch are taken into consideration.

Today was a perfect example of how quickly things can go wrong with two parents having different guidance parameters.  This proves Matthew and I must get on the same page with Bella. She is one of our kids. We have to treat her like a dog but I also have to take into account she does have feelings and her size is not her fault. I also have to learn that even though the child should not have been on the floor grabbing the ball from the dog, it is natural for her to want to play with her dog. Why did we get a dog if she is not allowed to be a dog? I have to learn to be cautious but not overbearing and once in a while there will be instances where a bump or bruise in the course of play is going to happen whether it is between the kids or involves the dog. I am so afraid of one of my children being injured that I tend to suffocate them sometimes and overprotect them. This is not doing them or Bella any good. I have to find a happy medium somehow.

My mom and I had a similar conversation on another topic involving children and how innocent they are. You cannot shield them from the World and you cannot always be there. You teach and guide. Then you hope for the best. A parent is there to ease the pain of the shiner, clean the cuts and scrapes, apply pressure to a bleeding wound, and comfort to a broken heart. We are not supposed to stifle them from or punish them for being who they are. Just as you cannot make a dog not be a dog. Within reason I have to accept that my dog is a big, dopey, playful, and loveable pooch (with her family that is) who is longing for love and affection. Her kids make her happy and she wants to make them happy. She accomplishes this through play.

Eventually the on-call physician called me back and assured me Brie is fine. He told me as long as she can move her eye, is not falling asleep or is listless and her facial muscles move without pain, she will be fine. No need for an X-ray. When he asked me what happened with the dog, he kind of chuckled and commented on how big dogs can be a curse and a blessing. I felt much better after getting off of the phone.

Fast forward a few hours.  Brie is playing outside with her cousin Joshua and the worries of this morning are long forgotten. Again, we have a happy, innocent child with not a care in the World...as it should be. We also have a crazy-normal dog napping on the couch who will most likely do something in the future that will result in a bump, bruise or scratch on one of her kids while showing them how much she loves them. You also have a very thankful and blessed mama bear who needs to learn to relax a bit and not consider a monster or tragedy around every corner.

Since I became pregnant and now have a beautiful 10 week old little boy as a result, my dog has become a bit of a caution sign for me. I have to look at Bella the same way I looked at her before we had Paul and before Brie became her best friend; whom she longs to be a real dog for. All Bella is trying to do is show the kids how special they are to her. I have to keep in mind that she is also very special to them. Lately, I have been treating her more like a nuisance than a part of the family. She deserves to be cherished and respected too.  Just like the rest of us.