She's At It Again

I'm not sure where Bella learned to box but she is quite the adversary when she wants to be.  This dog just doesn't understand the concept of letting me sit on the couch by myself.  It is fine in the evening while watching TV or reading a book for this 90 pound baby to sit in my lap.  When I am trying to crochet or drink a much needed cup of coffee after a long day with the kids and this four legged monster, I want to chill.  I want to be allowed to sit back, take a few leisurely sips and watch Criminal Minds, Days of Our Lives, Sons of Anarchy or maybe even Jeopardy without a tail wapping me in the face, paws digging into my thigh, or a rock hard skull smashing me in the jaw.  When I get to a point of making her remove her bulk from my person is when she decides to turn into Mike Tyson.  She starts with only one paw but is pretty good at switching it up when you least expect it.  I have been hit in the face before I can even get my hands up by a left, right and another left paw rendering me a not so savvy opponent.  At this point, the dog usually turns on a little swagger like "In your face bitch" and climbs over me shoving me with her back paws back into my corner of the couch so she can proceed to nap.  Within two minutes of these one way battles, she is normally snoozing across my lap and my coffee has turned cold since I am not able to drink it with her big head in the way.  My husband wonders why I go through so much coffee!

Bella needs to be touching me at all times, she missed that memo too; The Importance of Personal Space.  If I am at the island in our kitchen, her paw needs to be in my lap, her head needs to be resting on my arm, or she is standing with both feet on the island licking my face.  That third option is normally self-serving.  She is trying to take a bite of whatever I'm eating. 

If I ignore these gestures of doggie affection, the gloves are off!  Here come those giant paws!  "POW!! Right in the face!  This morning I got up pretty early and got Brie off to school.  I was sitting on the couch folding towels and organizing my days work because Debbie, my mother-in-law was coming over for dinner later this evening.  Needless to say, Bella wanted the face cloths to run around with.  I let her take one and went back to folding.  I had three piles neatly folded and ready to go back in the basket to head upstairs to their pertinent closet destinations.  Bella decides she wants to sit in the basket.  Picture a 90 pound Great Dane trying to fit in a 2x4 foot basket.  Granted it is a pretty good sized basket and holds 2 to 3 batches of folded towels, but she is just not the right fit.  As I am putting towels in and shooing her out, she decides to grab the basket in her teeth and take off with it.  "OH HERE WE GO!"  She only goes about three steps and slams the basket into the wall. 

Apparently her depth perception is not that good.  The basket was not going through the doorway into the kitchen which really set her off.  As I'm trying to grab the basket she is tugging on one side and me on the other.  Growling, snarling, and using her paw to assist in battling me she decides to suddenly let go.  Here I go sprawling backwards and on my butt again.  This dog loves to injure me I swear!  She leaps over the basket which I now use as a shield only to get slammed in the chest with  the dog on top of the basket.  Squished basket and squished me! Lovely!!!  Now to add insult to injury she decides to smack me in the head with a giant paw.  Ouch!!!

OK. Now I'm beyond aggravated with the Queen of Sheba!  I get off the floor, adjust my glasses which are now sideways on my face and proceed to yell at her to get out of the living room.  I will skip the explitives because being under two years old, I never should use that language in front of her.  "BAD MOMMY" is all I was thinking.  I put all the towels back in the basket and lean over to pick it up to lug it upstairs and "SMACK" from out of nowhere I get a big paw right across my right cheek.  Bella is next to me up on the couch now talking up a storm.  She is indignant and insulted that I took the basket away from her.  This dog thinks she has rights like a human. 

I picked up the basket and she puts her head right in my face!  We are now almost eye level (she is taller) and I'm pissed! I told her to knock it off, I have a lot to do and she needs to leave me be to get things done today.  I told her I wasn't kidding and she was going to end up on the chain outside for the day.  Normally the word "chain" makes her pretty pliant but not today.  She woofs in my face and throws herself back on the couch so both feet are ready for battle.  This dog looked so funny at that point that I let my guard down and laughed at her.  BIG MISTAKE!  Bella sends one big paw smashing into my face knocking me back a bit and the intended affect worked.  I wasn't laughing anymore.  I slapped her foot and with the other one she sent my glasses flying right off my face.

Now this wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have extremely poor eyesight.  I couldn't even see the damn dog anymore; she was just a big gray blur.  Trying to find my glasses without crushing them was a challenge but after about 2 minutes I got them back on my face.  My screaming and yelling, threatening her with a drive to the dogpound worked because when I got my glasses back on, she had curled up in my assigned corner of the couch.  She knew she was in trouble and I am happy to report that for the rest of the day we had no further incident.

I'm just hoping when Debbie got here Bella wouldn't decide to start Round II.  Our visit went off without a hitch.  She jumped on Memere a few times but very gently since she stands about a foot taller, this was very very important.  She actually behaved herself the whole time.  The only problem is, Bella decided to come visit us tonight in the dining room which she has been very careful not to enter since she almost broke my candelabras in the window chasing the cat a few months ago.  She got into enough hot water then to be very leery of entering that forbidden zone.  Unfortunately for Suzie; "She's Back".  Now the poor Cat will have to find a new place to lounge.  I think I learned my lesson too - I shouldn't have wasted money on new glasses.  The smartest thing to do with this dog is keep my contacts in at all times.

Come back soon to see how Bella is treating her family.  Thanks for checking in and sharing.

Bella vs. Veterinarian

I apologize to Bella's friends for not posting an update sooner.  About a month ago Bella had to go to the Vet for being rather laxadazical and not really acting like herself.  She refused to eat her food; which turned out to be Primadonna Syndrome.  She chose to go on a hunger strike because after sampling some table food she wanted more variety in her diet.  She happily started eating a mixture of canned meat chunks and her dry food after some trial and error on our part.  Once again all is right in the world because Bella is pleased.  Queen Bella I should say.  It turned out to be a coincidence but luckily we did bring her to the Vet because she had a tick infection.

When we went to the Vet for her hunger strike, the vet did some bloodwork which Bella was not pleased about.  I have been informed not only by Petco, but now by my Veterinarian who deals with mischievous giants on a regular basis, that it is better if my husband accompanies us for her recheck because she doesn't have "much faith, frankly in your ability to hold her back if she wants to pounce on me".  Apparently Bella baring her teeth and trying to snap the Vets hand off was not a welcome response while drawing her blood.  Tempermental is putting it mildly.  Now I've heard of cats that hold a grudge but dogs?? They are supposed to love you no matter what:  Forgive and forget; you know "Man's Best Friend".   She is not best friends with the Vet.   The Vet took the blood samples and proceeded to bring them to their onsite lab to find out if there was anything going on with the big baby.  The Queen of Sheba was licking her wounds the entire time the Vet was gone and mumbling under her doggie breathe.  To say she was pissed is an understatement.  I rubbed her back and tried to comfort her and I got a big ole growl that told me "it is not a good time to be playing mommy of the year".  She was not going to be consoled by me or anyone else at that moment in time.  She was mad about the needles and someone was going to be dealing with her; like it or not.

I know the look on my dog's face when she is ready to go after something, whether it is a squirrel, dear, or wild turkey in the yard; occasionally a UPS driver.  Nonetheless I was not really prepared for her next move even though I saw the look.  I guess it didn't register because she doesn't normally look at people that way.   The Vet comes back in and before I could even get off my butt out of the chair she was snapping the leash out of my hand and chasing the Vet back out the door.  I have to say for a larger woman, she moved pretty damn quick.  I gave chase and was freaking out inside thinking, "OMG I'm going to have to put her down if she bites the damn Vet"!!  Luckily, the desk is right outside the doors so she made it behind the desk and shut the little swing door as Bella was lunging for her.  When Bella let go of the leash I grabbed at it and got her under control.  I dragged her back into the exam room and had to literally sit on her to calm her down.  She was howling like a wolf because she didn't get ahold of the Vet.  It took about 10 minutes to get her to a point of being able to bring her out to the desk and luckily the Vet had left my medication for her on the counter with a $240.00 bill.  I personally think she tacked on a fee for her aggravation and near death experience.  I was informed that Bella was going to have to be muzzled when she comes in for shots or bloodwork.  I said very sheepishly, "I understand".  I was embarrassed and felt bad but before I could say anything, the girl at the desk laughed and said, "Don't think she's the only one that tries to bite her.  She must not be very gentle with the needle."  I didn't feel so bad after that.  It was self defense on my girl's part!!!   

Here I am talking to the girl at the counter while she runs my credit card and I look down and my dog has her teeth on the handle of the carrier of the woman next to me who is not paying attention and my dog is trying to get inside at the poor Cat in Box!!!  I quickly grabbed her collar and dislodged her teeth.  As I did so, the woman looks down and this blood curdling screech comes from inside the carrier!! OH DAMN HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! Bella is now aware its a cat.  I had to mobilize the dog again by wrestling her to the ground and holding on for dear life.  Now the woman could have helped in this situation by moving the carrier to the other side of her legs but NO!!! She leans down, Bella doesn't seem to phase her in the least and tries quieting the kitty who is now putting her big claws out through the hole, hissing and growling like a bobcat!  The girl behind the counter cannot even hear to answer the phone between Bella and the crazy kitty in the box.  I decided to be the adult in the situation since my dog was the culprit, afterall and I offered to take her home and come back for my credit card in a few minutes.  This made the girl behind the counter quite happy.  So that is what I did.

When I returned to the Vet after dropping off KUJO, it turns out she had a bacterial infection caused by the saliva from a tic??!!???!  Don't ask me...I don't understand how they can determine saliva from a tic, being so small but science is amazing.  They even have a name for it...Anaplasmosis.  She had to take 3 horsepills twice per day for nearly 4 weeks and let me tell you, it took about one week to figure out how to hide those things in her "treats".  We finally settled on string cheese.  I took a piece of string cheese and cut it into 3 sections.  I hollowed out the center and stuffed the pills in.  Pretty ingenious of me; just saying.  ...but it worked great. 

Bella is now ready to go back for her "recheck".. I have a feeling there is going to be another blog entry after that visit.  NOW, I understand they want her muzzled like when she gets her nails done but the million dollar question is...WHO IS MUZZLING THIS DOG??? I can answer that in two words:

NOT ME :(

She got home and laid around for the rest of the night.  I checked on her before going to bed and this pic is what I found...Too precious.  One minute she wants to tear someone's throat out and the next she's cuddling with her kitten.  Maybe my dog is BiPolar.  One can never tell.. She's just crazy like her mom.  And I wouldn't want to change a thing about her... I LOVE MY BELLA