OK NOW WHERE IS MY PHONE!!!

I was really beginning to think Bella's habit of trying to eat anything inedible was coming to an end.  I was proven terribly wrong the other day.  I've given up on stopping the ingestion of part of her blanket a couple times a week.  I found these really cute $3.00 blankets that she adores.  Each one lasts about a month between the shredding, drooling and tearing.  Once she starts tearing off little tidbits and chews on them for more than a minute, momma takes the blanket away for a day and she drags the other 3 around the house showing me she'll behave and only lay on them.  We are on blanket #8 as of this morning.  Brianna's bathrobe happens to be about the right texture and I noticed this morning there were a couple of claw marks through it.  I'm guessimating Brianna left the robe on the couch last night and Bella mistook it for her own.  We will have to find another purple robe ASAP! 

As I sit here and type I see that I'm going to have to take the leapord print blanket away next.  Bella is two feet away growling and whining at the blanket while she chews on a piece.  This is her telling the blanket it's seen its last sunrise.  Which brings me back to my story.  I managed to get my phone back before it too was ingested.

I am infamous for losing my phone; my poor husband Matthew, and best friend Lori can attest to this.  I can go two days with no phone before I realize I misplaced it.  Usually it is in one of the vehicles under the seat, down the couch or underneath the bed, sometimes even in a laundry basket in the laundry room.  I am so bad at keeping track of it.  Well the other day, I was really conscious of my phone because I was waiting for an important call and I knew I left it on the table in the living room.  The table happens to be shorter than Bella so she can grab whatever she wants off of it.  Usually there isn't much there so we are safe.  She's never taken a phone so far so I thought nothing of leaving it there.  It is so wrong to underestimate this dog. 

Bella is lying on the floor and I notice she's chewing very quietly but I haven't given her a treat.  It looks like she's having some difficulty so I go over and just as I'm about to pry open her drooly jowls, the phone starts to ring and "YOU GUESSED IT".  There is my phone in her mouth.  It scared the dickens out of the pup and instead of dropping it she makes a mad dash for the hallway and "surprize"... right up the stairs.  I am halling butt after this gazelle of a dog and by the time I get to the top step she is down the hall, facing me with her head to the ground and her butt in the air challenging me to come and get her.  She's growling and her tail is whacking into the wall on each side in  quite an exuberant manner.  I can see it in her eyes "Catch me if you can".  Silly me, I take the bait every time but I really needed to get that phone.  I don't think she can swallow a whole phone, but after the $2000.00 potpouri incident I didn't want to take any chances.  Of course, I dive for the dog, the dog runs over my back and bounds down the steps in three leaps.  I swear she has deer in her bloodline somewhere.  As I head down the steps; cautiously two at a time, I have an epiphany.  I pick up the house phone and dial my cell. 

If you could have seen how fast this dog stopped, I swear she left skid marks on the rug.  She looks at me and her eyes are so wide she looks like a caricature.  All of a sudden, she starts shaking her head rapidly and growling while she jumps up on her hind legs.  With one big snap of her head the phone comes sailing out and as I duck it slams into the wall behind me.  This is reminiscent of when my sister flung scissors at my head when we were unruly teenagers putting away the groceries... but that's another story.  MY POOR PHONE.  I was positive it was destroyed.  Bella and I both walk slowly over to the phone wondering what we are going to find when suddenly it starts beeping.  I had a text message!!  YEAH!  My phone is still working.  There is drool dripping down the wall and as I pick up the phone from the carpet, it slips out of my hand because, lets just say slimey is an understatement for anything this dog drops from her jowls.  After toweling off the phone, it is good as new.. Well almost.  On closer inspection, there are some teeth marks in the rubber backing, there are a few scratches across the front so texting could be a bit challenging, but it's still in one piece. 

I better warn my husband when he gets home this weekend.  He and the boy have been playing PS3 quite a bit lately; some new game "Twisted Metal".  I don't think those controllers are much bigger than my phone...  HHHMMM  I dont' really care for video games anyway.  Maybe we'll just see what happens the next time they leave those controllers on that little living room table.

What Happened to my Whacky DOG!!!

My poor Bella has not had a very pleasant time of it the past week or so.  First the Pats gave away the Superbowl; Can we say "How do Gronkowski, Welker and Branch all drop the ball in the same game?"  Oh well, there is always next year right.  To make matters worse I never did get my hands on a Giants Jersey for Bella to chew up during the game but she kept herself busy chewing on a pair of slippers in our room away from our guests. And no they weren't my Pink Pig Slippers  "Thanks to all who came to our Superbowl Party"  I thought it was a smash and boy was I SMASHED!!!  Anyway back to the topic of this entry.  Our home has been Sick People Central. 

First Brianna was not feeling well and as four year olds do, sneezing and coughing all over everyone.  Most of the time she uses her manners but after being up night after night the poor kid's arm was probably tired from covering her mouth.  Matthew came down with her symptoms next, then Sean, and last of all Me.  Bella has been mommy's nurse for four days now.  This pup has not left my side.  She hasn't gotten much sleep due to my coughing and sneezing, moaning and complaining (I do not take being sick well). She has finally starting whining a bit herself but has been quite a good little trooper up to this point.  I noticed every time I cough or clear my throat the dog has begun rolling her eyes.  She's thinking "Enough is enough already". 

She's really been on her best behavior.  The only inanimate and inedible objects she's eaten lately are one of her chew toys; which according to Petco is safe for her to ingest, a small piece of one of her many blankets she drags around to her nap stations periodically, and she did get one of Brianna's socks because I couldnt' get off the couch quick enough to grab it.  I swear I saw a smile on that dog's face as I tried miserably to lift my head off the pillow and command she drop the sock.  She devoured it not even 4 feet in front of me and I could not do a thing about it.  Besides that, chasing and biting the cat has been at a rare minimum.  The daring dane has only gotten up to inspect the food on the counter a couple times in the past few days.  I'm assuming dry toast is not appealing to her.  Barking at every little thing has stopped because she can't figure out why I shriek in agony and bury my head under the couch pillows when she barks lately.  She cocks her head sideways and looks at me wondering why there are tears streaming from my bloodshot eyes.  It's because my ears are ready to burst and the migraine or sinus pain is unbearable with a whisper; nevermind a deep bark that can wake the dead!!!   Over the past couple of days she has resorted to lying next to me and putting a paw on top of my head as if to remind me I cannot simply die.  I need to get up and put ice cubes in her dish or fill her food bowl.  She is actually prancing in front of the front door to go out and do her business rather than bark in my face.  It's definitely a plus from pre-illness.  More than once, I mistook her need to urinate as a prelude to tearing my throat out.  Needless to say she never would but when nature calls, the Devil Dog is Alive!!!

This being sick thing may be good afterall.  Maybe I can trick Bella into continuing her moderately good behavior for a bit longer while I recover from my tuberculosis like symptoms!!!!!  (They say its allergies not the flu  HAA!!!)  Then again, I kinda miss not knowing what the big girl is going to do next.  The kids are actually asking what I did to the dog?  I think they are afraid I may do something similar to them?  Not really sure but while I convalesce I will enjoy the normalcy of my whacky loveable dog.  I just fear retribution is going to be hell.  Then again, it will just give me more to write about.  OK, time to go take more meds!!!!!!!!!   If any of you have similar experiences with your whacky loveable pups send me a comment.  Be back with you all soon :)