CAN SHE DO IT!!!!!!!!

     It has been quite some time since Bella and I have sat down to write a post.  She says "Hello" by the way to everyone interested in hearing about her daily adventures.  I had resigned myself to the fate of having a 100+ pound dog sleeping with us until we are old and grey.  Bella is incapable of accepting that she is a dog.  This is based on irrefutable evidence.  She thinks she is one of our kids!

     If she doesn't like a rule; she breaks it with ne're a care of consequences.  She gets irritable if she doesn't get her snack - like Brie if she loses track of time before bed and does not have her favorite ice cream or some other delectable dessert.  Bella becomes irate if I don't take her for a walk or I leave her home when it rains. This is like Brie if it is raining outside and she can't go to the park.  If Bella is mad about something and doesn't get her way, she tortures our cat to get my attention.  Poor Suzie has been lying on the floor and Bella has gone over and put the cat's whole head in her mouth or just squished her to the floor with one big foot while the cat flails around helplessly.  This is just to piss me off!  Brianna will go punch Sean or throw something at him when she's angry.  They are two peas in a pod.  Scary Mary and Scary Mary Mini. Bella pouts if I change Animal Planet while she's watching one of her favorite programs - "Cat From Hell" or "Dog Whisperer".  This is equivalent to changing "Phineas and Ferb" or "Looney Tunes" on Brianna.  Bella will sit on the couch, throw her head back and howl at me until I either shut off what I am watching or put the channel back where she wanted it.  I kid you not, this dog watches television!  Brianna simply hides the remote after putting her channel back on so I cannot change it.  If I were more Tech savvy I may be able to fix this issue, but unfortunately, I am not. This results in no one watching TV at all.  I do know where the power button is without the remote.  When Bella figures out how to hide the remote, I'm really going to be in trouble.  She's already buried my phone in the yard.

     We have decided that once we become pregnant, the dog can no longer sleep with us.  We are not there yet, but working diligently to increase our happy nest.  We have to make sure the dog is settled into her new digs before a baby bundle arrives; God Willing...

     My husband and I are very good to our animals.  However, I treat them like our children.  If I get kicked in the stomach while carrying a baby, it is not only going to be quite painful but dangerous for our new little one-to-be so I cannot take the risk at the expense of my dog's feelings.  There are some boundaries when it comes to safety.  I am not totally delusional about the risks with a 100+ pound pup.  I had seen a really cute futon bed at Walmart that I thought would be great for Bella.  I decided we could put it at the foot of our bed inside her pen and she would be comfy cozy but not right on the bed.  I guess I hadn't considered the dimensions of the dog pen or that of the futon.

     We went to look this weekend and my husband says "Really!! Not gonna work".  I asked what the problem was and he asked me if I knew what math was.  I said, I thought it would fit and he said "That's the problem, you thought.   Dammit!!!  I want my bed back and I hate it when my husband is right. He is so rude!! I'm so tired of waking up with unexplained bumps and bruises from a dog, but  as usual Matthew's common sense supersedes my unrealistic visions.  We went to the pet section and he says "Ah, there you go".  Of course his unnecessary sarcasm is always at hand when he is right but as usual he was onto something.  He found a therapeutic dog bed which is big enough for Bella but not too big for our bedroom.  Of course, from a practical standpoint this bed makes perfect sense but for my baby's comfort, it didn't look very cozy.  Bella is accustomed to being pampered and loves our bed.  It is a California King that is just melt-worthy comfortable; cloud-like.  I looked at this dog bed and was very unimpressed.  If I were her, I'd go chew up Matthew's boots!!

     Well, "What the hell do I know?"  We determined we would try it out and give Bella the opportunity to decide if she liked it or not.  If it was up to me, it would have remained on the shelf.  We brought it home and she started checking it out immediately. It wasn't even out of the packaging and she was trying to lay on it. We took it out of the box and let her get used to it in the kitchen. When we brought it upstairs at bedtime. she jumped on the bed and was looking at me with this sideways head tilt that said "Mom, why are you sleeping there". I think the dog was letting me know it was for me not her.  Matthew had already brought her pen upstairs so it was pretty clear she thought one of us was in trouble. This dog shocked the bejeezus out of me.  Once she realized it was for her, she went right in and sniffed around then laid down. Bella LOVES HER NEW PAD!!

     The first night was a bit sketchy.  She whined but there was no growling, jumping around or knocking things over, chewing or howling.  She was somewhat perturbed but within about 30 minutes she settled into her new spot.

     Since then each night, she comes upstairs, tucks Brianna in with me and then she goes into our room, inspects her bed to make sure there is no cat laying on it, then heads downstairs with me until it is time to sign off for the evening. She goes right to her pen and waits for me to open it, circles her bed a few times and then plops down 'til morning.

     I am so impressed by this turn of events and the ease at which she got past sleeping with us, that I have to give credit where credit is due:  My husband is a genius.  I complain about the dog not knowing she is a dog and now I understand it is my fault.  I wasn't treating her much like a dog.  I file and polish her toe nails (clear only - daddy would not approve if he came home and she had red toe nails), brush her teeth, Brie and I make necklaces for her that coordinate with her collar, she gets Dunkin Donuts munchkins every morning, and a home-cooked breakfast she eats with me and the kids.  She has hamburg with honey and garlic salt mixed into her food each day; I'm not so sure about the benefits of honey for a dog but she just loves it on her toast so I thought she'd like it in her breakfast as a treat. Matthew tells me all of the time he is convinced I am a crazy person masquerading as normal.  I don't agree.  Why should our children be treated like royalty and our animals not so much.  They are our kids too! 

     My husband treats Bella like a dog and it makes her happy and content. I treat her like one of the kids and she is petulant and stubborn; acting out constantly.  She is downright fresh!!! Go figure... One more reason I married him.  It is so nice to have someone tell you that you are crazy in such a loving caring compassionate way. Crazy wife - happy life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did find one problem with her new-found puppy sanctuary. During the day Bella comes and lays at my feet while I write or sits with me while I do housework. She is always by my side.  Since she is in her own bed now, I cannot get this dog off of me.  She is like crazy glue!  It is one thing to have her beside me but if I leave the room she is right on my heels.  I actually sat on her today which was not pleasant for either of us.  She ended up nipping my butt because she was not pleased and I actually fell off the couch because it hurt.  I was trying to sit down on the couch and she beat me to the spot.  I pretty much fell over her and as I went to stand up that is when I got the shark bite.  OUCH!!  She growled her discontent with the situation and I yelled at her for biting me.  Brie thought this was friggin' hilarious and proceeded to high-five the dog.  Yes, I suppose I am accepting she is a dog...if those teeth are any indication.  Good thing Brie doesn't have chompers like that or we'd all be screwed!!!  Maybe since Bella is in her own bed now I can start working on getting her off the damn couch.  BUT:  If today was any indication;

I don't think I'm going to win that battle any time soon.

Bella May Never Find True Love :(

     I was so excited at the beginning of the school year for Bella.  Each morning Bella and I drive Brianna to her Kindergarten and every so often we'd see in another truck, a big beautiful black Great Dane.  He is just the most gorgeous male Dane I've seen!  He is as handsome as my Baby Bella is beautiful.  So of course, as a future Grandma to Bella's pups, I had great hopes that this handsome gent would be the Pop of her pups.  Well, I guess Grandma Patti needs to accept the fact that Bella hates all other animals and is never going to find TRUE LOVE!  Yesterday, the Black danes daddy stopped and asked me what kind of dog Bella was and I told him, "Yes, she is a Blue Dane and you have the black male!"  I was so thrilled when he then asked how old she was and told me how beautiful she is.  It was going through my head how many adorable little black pups and blue pups we would have.  Some looking like their mom and some looking noble like their dad.  I told him she was almost two years old and he says, "Oh mine too".  I am getting more excited by the minute and asked if he was going to "breed him", then I felt stupid cause the real terminology would be "stud him out" but nonetheless the dad knew what I meant and dashed part of my hopes and dreams and says.  "No he's fixed!"  UGGHH!!!!!  I said, "Oh dammit, that sucks"!  That wasn't exactly eloquent for having just met this man but Mama's frustration was utmost at that moment.  The handsome black Dane was not with him so as I said, "Well, that's too bad, we'll have to keep looking.  Have a nice day."  I was still hoping that maybe Bella could have a playmate.  My plan was next time I see this man (forgot to get his name) I'd mention how maybe Bella and his boy could get together for a play date.  Bella doesn't get along with any other animals, especially those smaller than her but I was thinking since he is larger than her and he's a Dane maybe she'd make an exception and have someone to pal around with on a walk here and there, or we could meet them at the dog park and I could meet the black Dane's mom.  I was thinking life long Dane loving pet owner friends.  COOL!!!
     Well the rest of my hopes and dreams were shattered this morning.  Bella, Bella Bella!!!  Here we are in line again dropping Brianna off at school and here comes the handsome black Dane and his dad to drop off their kid.  The dad stops along the side of our truck so they can meet; Bella and this handsome giant.  What does my daffy dog do!  She turns into CUJO and tries jumping out of the truck while her future friend stares at her quizzically from his window wondering if this girl needs medication!  She is an absolute lunatic and he's calm as a cucumber looking at me and then his owner like; "What the hell did I do?"  Poor guy.  He just met an unstable crazy female!


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     All I can picture is Petco all over again.  I'm wondering if when I go to pick up Brianna today, the school officials ask me if I can leave the rabid dog home from now on so she cannot scare the children and staff.  What am I going to do with this looney tune of a dog!  She failed puppy school, tries to attack every animal she sees; including larger Danes than herself I now know, and refuses to even make an introduction such as a normal dog butt sniff, like most other non crazy animals do.  She goes for the jugular before even determining whether it is friend or foe.
     I hate to say it, but the likelihood of my beautiful girl ever having pups is pretty darn slim.  I am starting to think she may just end up an old lonely spinster with run of the house, access to all furniture and anything she deems a chew toy.  I believe until her old age, she will still be sleeping in our bed between me and Matthew, chasing poor Suzie every chance she gets, scaring every delivery person who comes in our yard, being barred from PetCo forever unless Daddy is with us, and chasing Vets when they try giving her shots.
     What is a Mama to do?  I don't think they will actually do artificial insemination for a dog but I'm tempted to look into it because I really want to breed her and keep a pup.  We would love to have another Bella running around but one with a less temperamental disposition.  My other option is to find out if I can get her into Doggie Therapy and figure out what her issue is with all other living creatures.  Where does this anger come from!!!  Good thing she loves all of us or we'd be in real trouble on one of her bad days...then again, maybe she is just happy with her life the way it is and doesn't want any other animal stepping on her turf.  Who knows.  All I can say is I love my Baby Bella and puppies or no puppies, she is the best darn dog in the entire world!!!   It took her Mama almost 40 years to find a soul mate and love of her life, so maybe; just maybe, there is some hope for Bella to find True Love.  I won't be holding my breath though...  

Bella Knows Best - I Think???!!!

I recently completed my Associate's Program from home through the University of Phoenix, Axia program.  Bella is a major contributor to my success.  Not only did Bella help me remember to put my research material away but she also reminded me over and over again, when it is time to study is not during the afternoon when she wishes to play.  You see, this is very important going forward in all future endeavors for me because I have determined I will be a better writer than business manager.  Mind you, I get plenty of practice at home refereeing a 15 year old and 5 year old day in and day out.  I am always multitasking and giving redirection to these two children who are polar opposites in every way possible.  I swear if Sean is going to say something nice, Brianna is going to report it as he was being rude to her.  I have had to figure out how to be diplomatic in delegating punishment.  I was unaware at how well happy little five year old children develop a knack for lying in order to show their power over a teenager who they consider a nuisance.

This brings me to why I feel it is best I have Bella here 24/7 even though she gives me grey hair more rapidly than I think it would develop naturally.  I really cannot prove my theory since I get my hair colored without fail every five weeks.  I have to or I look like Broom Hilda after more than six weeks, and manage to scare the children and the hubby too.  Bella is always sniffing around my work area.  More than once I have left papers out that I highlighted important information on only to come home or back in the room in some instances, to find nothing but shredded slips of the words I was working on adding to my memory folder.  She has also decided that pens are a tasty treat beside her BBQ flavored dog bones.  In the past two weeks, I have found the carcass of many a blue and black gel pen around the house.  Luckily, I have not seen any evidence of splattered ink on the living room carpet.  I believe she is smart enough to bite down on it once she is in the kitchen where for the most part, it is impossible to see a stain.  I love industrial looking concrete flooring.  It is so manageable.  Okay, back to Bella sorry.  I am not worried she is eating the pens; which is a good thing.  We are making progress.  We have found something she merely chews up and spits out; something she would like to do to poor Suzie.

You are all probably wondering what the correlation is between a five year old who is learning that fibbing is a good way to avoid a timeout or losing video game and TV privileges, and a dog who cannot speak and should be nicknamed DEMON.  Well, it is a good thing the dog can be vocal in other ways or the five year old was going to scam one over on me today, and the 15 year old would have been in hot water without doing anything; this time.  I keep finding empty pop tart wrappers all over the living room lately.  There is no eating allowed in the living room by the kids.  I had enough with empty fruit snack and go-gurt sleeves to last a lifetime.  We put our feet down when we moved in the new house a couple years back that there was to be no eating in the living room.

I decided to gather the evidence and confront who I thought was the culprit.  I was reprimanding Sean for lying about leaving the pop tart papers around and for eating in the living room.  He was adamant it was not him.  I did not believe a word he said, because like Judge Judy preaches "When a teenager opens their mouth, it is a lie!".  Those words resonate in my skull every time I confront Sean about something I know he is guilty of. This time I was dead wrong.  While I am getting more aggravated by the moment and determining in my head how long he is going to lose privileges this time, Brianna suddenly says "Mom, I have to go get something upstairs." and races out of the room with Bella on her heels.

About two minutes later I give up berating Sean and tell him to go finish his chores. We will discuss this later if it happens again with his father.  All of a sudden, here comes Bella running full throttle down the stairs, into the living room and drops a mouthful of empty fruit snack wrappers, candy wrappers, a half eaten pop tart and an empty D'animal's container at my feet.  This dog has a big mouth and really proved the carrying capacity with this haul. 

Sean is just walking out of the room and sees this and yells "I told you it wasn't me!"  I was totally dumbstruck.  Brianna is now on her little knees trying to push the evidence under her hands so I won't see the inventory.  Bella lays down and starts licking her hands and trying to nudge Brie's hands away with her head in protest of trying to hide the contraband.  Sean starts laughing and says "FINALLY!"  I did not know what to say.  Had Brianna not been so frazzled trying to hide the content of that mouthful, I would have naively believed Bella had gone into Sean's room and brought me more evidence to build an even tighter case of misconduct by the teenager.

The dog was trying to do the right thing.  She was making Brianna face the music by bringing her fibbing into the light.  Not only had she been hiding wrappers in the living room; so apparently sneaking snacks, but also bringing food upstairs!  That is a major NO NO in this house. Bella was doing a good deed by keeping a watchful eye on events as they must have occurred and when the little culprit tried to get rid of the evidence while the big one got blamed, Bella stopped her in this felonious act.  When confronted, Brianna tried blaming Sean and Bella.  She stated that Sean took the treats at bed time for a few nights but she was trying to be a good sister and not be a tattle-tale.  She didn't want him to get in trouble.  Her story is Bella was actually stealing the treats from Sean's room and putting them in her room so she'd get caught instead of Sean.  The dog was trying to make her get in trouble.  She said "It's not fair you believe the dog instead of me!"  LOL

The moral of this debacle is trifold:  I have learned five year old children do actually lie, teenagers do tell the truth sometimes, and crazy dogs are really really good to have around.  She may chew up my school work, and now freelance writing research once in a while (3 -4 times per week if I'm not careful) but she makes a really good mediator and fact-finder in this house.  I think her asset quality ratio far outweighs her liability status one hundred times over.  Not only does she make sure I keep my paperwork in good order but the children as well.

I am going to be looking at installing child proof locks on the cabinets in the kitchen.  The only problem is I think the five year old will be able to remove them and I won't.

WE WANT OUR BED BACK!

 

     It is bad enough trying to figure out what to get the kids for Christmas ensuring that their most important items end up under the tree.  It is even more difficult determining what to buy for a dog who chews up every bed she has had, destroys plush critters in a matter of minutes and excretes far too much saliva to have a good game of fetch with rubber balls unless you wear gloves to keep a good grip.  The only thing that seems to work for this dog is a tennis ball.  This may last a few weeks before she tears the fuzz off and tries to eat the rubber underneath.  I've given up on most tug toys because Bella works at the knot until she is able to shred the twine or cotton and then proceeds to eat it.
     I am a total sucker when it comes to this dog and it is pretty certain I'm going to try her with a new bed for Christmas.  We bought her the Kong bed which we were told was virtually indestructible by PetSmart...not so much.  I was still working at M&M when we got that one, and from my two minute morning commute to coming home for lunch about 4 1/2 hours later, there was only a bit of stuffing left that was not strewn about the house and the rubber bottom half looked like a school of piranha had fed on it.  We determined then, letting Bella sleep on the couch or in bed with us would be the best way to save money.  Her Kong bed ran us about $85.00 and lasted less than 24 hours.  I'd have been better off to take that money and buy Sean and Brie video games they do not need.  It would have actually been more practical. 
     Being such a push-over Mom that I am, I started researching better options for Bella in the bed category.  Short of purchasing her a twin size bed like Brianna's or a Tempur-Pedic of her own that may be comfy like ours so she won't decide to chew it all to hell, I found this really cool dog-house; tent-like contraption that I think may actually please the Queen of Danes.  I haven't been to a Sam's Club in quite a few years but I'm pretty sure ordering it online this time of year would probably be smarter anyway; what with all of the holiday shoppers.  The Cool Cot Dog House has gotten great reviews and I really think Bella may like it.  If I can talk the hubby into us putting out another C-note on this dog for inconsequential items it may keep her out of our bed.  That would actually be my selling point.  Poor Matthew...Bella does not sleep downstairs unless Mommy sleeps on the couch.  I do sleep on the couch a lot when Matthew is on the road.  I stay up pretty late and don't want to wake the kids going upstairs in the middle of the night.  Bella is a big clumsy dope when she runs up the stairs so sometimes she'll wake the kids and Brie is crabby enough in the morning without having her restful night interrupted too early by a dog.
     When Matthew is home, Bella refuses to sleep downstairs by herself.  She HAS TO sleep upstairs in bed with us or she will bark and whine until we let her come up. Spoiled does not begin to describe my dog.  Matthew has worked his way into bed with us without being attacked anymore.  Now she doesn't actually try biting him but lays right in the middle of us, on her own pillow to keep us separated.  If we move towards each other; whoever the offender is gets a big paw across the kisser.  She is very specific in keeping us on opposite sides of the bed.  This Cool Cot Dog House may just be what we need to keep her out of our room.
     It is supposed to be for outside use but I'm thinking about being creative.  We could set it up in the living room and let her have full run of the downstairs but get her used to nap time in her house instead of on the couch.  The trick is getting Matthew onboard with my idea.
     If any of you have had problems with a spoiled rotten dog who refuses to sleep on the floor or not in your bed, send me some feedback.  I'm willing to try just about anything to get her out of this habit.  I love her to pieces but she's taller than me so she's always kicking me or scratching my feet in her sleep, snores, hits me in my sleep causing me to wake up with bruises I didn't have when I went to bed, kicks me off the bed sometimes and adding insult to injury, drools on MY PILLOW - not her own.  This Cool Cot Dog House seems like a great solution.  It would actually be for me not the dog! 
I love my dog like one of my kids but I don't need her in my bed anymore!  It was cute when she was a puppy letting her sleep on the bed but now she's a hundred pounds and thinks she is the size of a poodle.  We will have to figure something out before she reaches full size or Matthew and I will have to take turns sleeping on the couch.  That is another thing.  If we don't go to bed at the same time, she goes to bed with whoever heads upstairs first...to reserve her spot.

She's At It Again

I'm not sure where Bella learned to box but she is quite the adversary when she wants to be.  This dog just doesn't understand the concept of letting me sit on the couch by myself.  It is fine in the evening while watching TV or reading a book for this 90 pound baby to sit in my lap.  When I am trying to crochet or drink a much needed cup of coffee after a long day with the kids and this four legged monster, I want to chill.  I want to be allowed to sit back, take a few leisurely sips and watch Criminal Minds, Days of Our Lives, Sons of Anarchy or maybe even Jeopardy without a tail wapping me in the face, paws digging into my thigh, or a rock hard skull smashing me in the jaw.  When I get to a point of making her remove her bulk from my person is when she decides to turn into Mike Tyson.  She starts with only one paw but is pretty good at switching it up when you least expect it.  I have been hit in the face before I can even get my hands up by a left, right and another left paw rendering me a not so savvy opponent.  At this point, the dog usually turns on a little swagger like "In your face bitch" and climbs over me shoving me with her back paws back into my corner of the couch so she can proceed to nap.  Within two minutes of these one way battles, she is normally snoozing across my lap and my coffee has turned cold since I am not able to drink it with her big head in the way.  My husband wonders why I go through so much coffee!

Bella needs to be touching me at all times, she missed that memo too; The Importance of Personal Space.  If I am at the island in our kitchen, her paw needs to be in my lap, her head needs to be resting on my arm, or she is standing with both feet on the island licking my face.  That third option is normally self-serving.  She is trying to take a bite of whatever I'm eating. 

If I ignore these gestures of doggie affection, the gloves are off!  Here come those giant paws!  "POW!! Right in the face!  This morning I got up pretty early and got Brie off to school.  I was sitting on the couch folding towels and organizing my days work because Debbie, my mother-in-law was coming over for dinner later this evening.  Needless to say, Bella wanted the face cloths to run around with.  I let her take one and went back to folding.  I had three piles neatly folded and ready to go back in the basket to head upstairs to their pertinent closet destinations.  Bella decides she wants to sit in the basket.  Picture a 90 pound Great Dane trying to fit in a 2x4 foot basket.  Granted it is a pretty good sized basket and holds 2 to 3 batches of folded towels, but she is just not the right fit.  As I am putting towels in and shooing her out, she decides to grab the basket in her teeth and take off with it.  "OH HERE WE GO!"  She only goes about three steps and slams the basket into the wall. 

Apparently her depth perception is not that good.  The basket was not going through the doorway into the kitchen which really set her off.  As I'm trying to grab the basket she is tugging on one side and me on the other.  Growling, snarling, and using her paw to assist in battling me she decides to suddenly let go.  Here I go sprawling backwards and on my butt again.  This dog loves to injure me I swear!  She leaps over the basket which I now use as a shield only to get slammed in the chest with  the dog on top of the basket.  Squished basket and squished me! Lovely!!!  Now to add insult to injury she decides to smack me in the head with a giant paw.  Ouch!!!

OK. Now I'm beyond aggravated with the Queen of Sheba!  I get off the floor, adjust my glasses which are now sideways on my face and proceed to yell at her to get out of the living room.  I will skip the explitives because being under two years old, I never should use that language in front of her.  "BAD MOMMY" is all I was thinking.  I put all the towels back in the basket and lean over to pick it up to lug it upstairs and "SMACK" from out of nowhere I get a big paw right across my right cheek.  Bella is next to me up on the couch now talking up a storm.  She is indignant and insulted that I took the basket away from her.  This dog thinks she has rights like a human. 

I picked up the basket and she puts her head right in my face!  We are now almost eye level (she is taller) and I'm pissed! I told her to knock it off, I have a lot to do and she needs to leave me be to get things done today.  I told her I wasn't kidding and she was going to end up on the chain outside for the day.  Normally the word "chain" makes her pretty pliant but not today.  She woofs in my face and throws herself back on the couch so both feet are ready for battle.  This dog looked so funny at that point that I let my guard down and laughed at her.  BIG MISTAKE!  Bella sends one big paw smashing into my face knocking me back a bit and the intended affect worked.  I wasn't laughing anymore.  I slapped her foot and with the other one she sent my glasses flying right off my face.

Now this wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have extremely poor eyesight.  I couldn't even see the damn dog anymore; she was just a big gray blur.  Trying to find my glasses without crushing them was a challenge but after about 2 minutes I got them back on my face.  My screaming and yelling, threatening her with a drive to the dogpound worked because when I got my glasses back on, she had curled up in my assigned corner of the couch.  She knew she was in trouble and I am happy to report that for the rest of the day we had no further incident.

I'm just hoping when Debbie got here Bella wouldn't decide to start Round II.  Our visit went off without a hitch.  She jumped on Memere a few times but very gently since she stands about a foot taller, this was very very important.  She actually behaved herself the whole time.  The only problem is, Bella decided to come visit us tonight in the dining room which she has been very careful not to enter since she almost broke my candelabras in the window chasing the cat a few months ago.  She got into enough hot water then to be very leery of entering that forbidden zone.  Unfortunately for Suzie; "She's Back".  Now the poor Cat will have to find a new place to lounge.  I think I learned my lesson too - I shouldn't have wasted money on new glasses.  The smartest thing to do with this dog is keep my contacts in at all times.

Come back soon to see how Bella is treating her family.  Thanks for checking in and sharing.

Bella vs. Veterinarian

I apologize to Bella's friends for not posting an update sooner.  About a month ago Bella had to go to the Vet for being rather laxadazical and not really acting like herself.  She refused to eat her food; which turned out to be Primadonna Syndrome.  She chose to go on a hunger strike because after sampling some table food she wanted more variety in her diet.  She happily started eating a mixture of canned meat chunks and her dry food after some trial and error on our part.  Once again all is right in the world because Bella is pleased.  Queen Bella I should say.  It turned out to be a coincidence but luckily we did bring her to the Vet because she had a tick infection.

When we went to the Vet for her hunger strike, the vet did some bloodwork which Bella was not pleased about.  I have been informed not only by Petco, but now by my Veterinarian who deals with mischievous giants on a regular basis, that it is better if my husband accompanies us for her recheck because she doesn't have "much faith, frankly in your ability to hold her back if she wants to pounce on me".  Apparently Bella baring her teeth and trying to snap the Vets hand off was not a welcome response while drawing her blood.  Tempermental is putting it mildly.  Now I've heard of cats that hold a grudge but dogs?? They are supposed to love you no matter what:  Forgive and forget; you know "Man's Best Friend".   She is not best friends with the Vet.   The Vet took the blood samples and proceeded to bring them to their onsite lab to find out if there was anything going on with the big baby.  The Queen of Sheba was licking her wounds the entire time the Vet was gone and mumbling under her doggie breathe.  To say she was pissed is an understatement.  I rubbed her back and tried to comfort her and I got a big ole growl that told me "it is not a good time to be playing mommy of the year".  She was not going to be consoled by me or anyone else at that moment in time.  She was mad about the needles and someone was going to be dealing with her; like it or not.

I know the look on my dog's face when she is ready to go after something, whether it is a squirrel, dear, or wild turkey in the yard; occasionally a UPS driver.  Nonetheless I was not really prepared for her next move even though I saw the look.  I guess it didn't register because she doesn't normally look at people that way.   The Vet comes back in and before I could even get off my butt out of the chair she was snapping the leash out of my hand and chasing the Vet back out the door.  I have to say for a larger woman, she moved pretty damn quick.  I gave chase and was freaking out inside thinking, "OMG I'm going to have to put her down if she bites the damn Vet"!!  Luckily, the desk is right outside the doors so she made it behind the desk and shut the little swing door as Bella was lunging for her.  When Bella let go of the leash I grabbed at it and got her under control.  I dragged her back into the exam room and had to literally sit on her to calm her down.  She was howling like a wolf because she didn't get ahold of the Vet.  It took about 10 minutes to get her to a point of being able to bring her out to the desk and luckily the Vet had left my medication for her on the counter with a $240.00 bill.  I personally think she tacked on a fee for her aggravation and near death experience.  I was informed that Bella was going to have to be muzzled when she comes in for shots or bloodwork.  I said very sheepishly, "I understand".  I was embarrassed and felt bad but before I could say anything, the girl at the desk laughed and said, "Don't think she's the only one that tries to bite her.  She must not be very gentle with the needle."  I didn't feel so bad after that.  It was self defense on my girl's part!!!   

Here I am talking to the girl at the counter while she runs my credit card and I look down and my dog has her teeth on the handle of the carrier of the woman next to me who is not paying attention and my dog is trying to get inside at the poor Cat in Box!!!  I quickly grabbed her collar and dislodged her teeth.  As I did so, the woman looks down and this blood curdling screech comes from inside the carrier!! OH DAMN HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! Bella is now aware its a cat.  I had to mobilize the dog again by wrestling her to the ground and holding on for dear life.  Now the woman could have helped in this situation by moving the carrier to the other side of her legs but NO!!! She leans down, Bella doesn't seem to phase her in the least and tries quieting the kitty who is now putting her big claws out through the hole, hissing and growling like a bobcat!  The girl behind the counter cannot even hear to answer the phone between Bella and the crazy kitty in the box.  I decided to be the adult in the situation since my dog was the culprit, afterall and I offered to take her home and come back for my credit card in a few minutes.  This made the girl behind the counter quite happy.  So that is what I did.

When I returned to the Vet after dropping off KUJO, it turns out she had a bacterial infection caused by the saliva from a tic??!!???!  Don't ask me...I don't understand how they can determine saliva from a tic, being so small but science is amazing.  They even have a name for it...Anaplasmosis.  She had to take 3 horsepills twice per day for nearly 4 weeks and let me tell you, it took about one week to figure out how to hide those things in her "treats".  We finally settled on string cheese.  I took a piece of string cheese and cut it into 3 sections.  I hollowed out the center and stuffed the pills in.  Pretty ingenious of me; just saying.  ...but it worked great. 

Bella is now ready to go back for her "recheck".. I have a feeling there is going to be another blog entry after that visit.  NOW, I understand they want her muzzled like when she gets her nails done but the million dollar question is...WHO IS MUZZLING THIS DOG??? I can answer that in two words:

NOT ME :(

She got home and laid around for the rest of the night.  I checked on her before going to bed and this pic is what I found...Too precious.  One minute she wants to tear someone's throat out and the next she's cuddling with her kitten.  Maybe my dog is BiPolar.  One can never tell.. She's just crazy like her mom.  And I wouldn't want to change a thing about her... I LOVE MY BELLA

Sometimes a Lesson Learned is Self Taught

     It has been a little while since we have posted a blog entry for Bella.  Reason being up until about a week ago she’s actually been a pretty good dog.  Short term miracles are a blessing with her.  As expected, short lived is the important phrase here.  She is back to her terrible self again.  I guess she tired of the concept of leaving Brianna’s toys alone but that is another entry. She has also tired of the concept that Suzie has a right to have her tail dry and fluffy; not wet and yucked up from Bella nipping and chomping on it at will.  Suzie does not appreciate being stepped on and squished to the floor simply because Bella decides this is a fun way to surprise the Cat while she is sleeping in front of the slider.  Since Brie has gotten comfortable with being able to leave a baby doll or stuffed animal around Bella had learned those things were off limits.  The Cat is supposed to be off limits too.  She has also learned that even though she wants to roam free she has to be on a leash or chained up when she goes outside.  Giving this dog chances is like walking down the street naked and expecting not to get arrested. ..You just don’t do it!

     The monster dog decided to go for a little stroll over to my neighbor’s house the other day and wouldn’t come back.  When I finally chased her down in his back yard, she kept looking over her shoulder at me and galloping a few more feet away, turning around putting her head to the ground, butt in the air and barking at me like a rabid beast; important to note the tail has been profusely wagging throughout this little neighborhood jaunt.  Apparently she thinks it is a game to have mommy chase her around the area in 90+ degrees of horrid heat and humidity, sweating my butt off and not exactly enjoying the trip to the grouchy neighbors.  I finally gave up the chase, told her under no uncertain circumstances that if she didn’t find her way back to her own house, the truck would be waiting to bring her spoiled butt to the pound once and for all and I would deal with Daddy’s wrath when he got home.  I lived through crashing his truck so dropping the dog off might be a little worse but at this point, figured I could take it. 

     Now, everyone knows this dog is my ‘kid’ and I would never drop one of my kids off at the “pound” so it was definitely an idol threat but I was at the end of my rope with Bella the Brat!!!  I turned my back on her, began the trek back to our driveway and marched up the hill to the homestead.  I must have been muttering quite loudly or she knew when mommy turned tail and headed off in a huff the hound dog was in serious doo doo.   Like a supersonic boom, all I felt was a blast of hot air as the crazy dog passed me at about Mach10!!  Like a shot she headed up the hill and parked her butt on the front porch for me to get up that damn hill!!!  As I got to her, she leaped nearly over my head;  I had to duck, and around the back of the house.  She thought the game was still in progress apparently.  I was so aggravated at this point I simply went in the house, took her water dish, filled it with fresh water and ice cubes and stuck it on the front steps.  I went back in the nice cool and cozy house and went about my daily routine. 

     It could have backfired but this dog is not an outdoorsy type; just like her momma.  I knew in the heat, racing laps around the house to annoy me, running up to the deck barking and jumping on the door just to take off again, as I open the door would wear her out sooner or later….sure enough not 10 minutes later, I hear whining and woofing at the front door.   I walked to the door and opened it up for her to come in.  She came in and flopped herself right there in the living room next to the vent for the air conditioning.  I think she stayed there for over an hour.  I ignored her, Brianna brought her some ice cubes that she gobbled up and baby Bella went to sleep. 

     Sometimes, letting kids learn their own lesson is the best way to teach them right from wrong.  Moral of the story:  If you are a lap dog and live comfortably in central air for 99% of your day, it is not too bright to take off on your mom in scalding heat because she may not let you back in the house until she’s ready!!!  Then again, this morning I got up and apparently Bella decided to get back at me.  Her leash was chewed to shreds sitting next to the front door with one of Brianna’s stuffed animals missing its head with stuffing all over the place!  I disposed of the evidence before Brianna saw the crime scene.  All I could do was sigh, and say those famous last words “DAMN DOG”… and our day begins  J

If you have a crazy dog like mine, drop me a note and tell us about them.  Loveable monsters are the best creatures in my book.  Thanks for reading.  Check back soon, I’m sure Bella will have created more chaos.  It is her MO